Insomnia
by TimidQuarian
Summary: Thane is nearing the end of his life, and Shepard knows it. When Thane admits that he is getting a transplant Shepard can only hope that Thane will return from the operating room. Rated M for language. Non-Canon, Thane/FemShep Pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Shepard lays in her bed silently. The quiet hum of the Normandy filling her thoughts. Thane lay asleep besides her. She looks at him for a moment and a small grin appears on her, usually stern, face. He looks so peaceful when he was asleep, like all the worlds problems disappeared. Shepard couldn't help but wonder what their future would hold. Thane, was a dying man, however. Shepard avoids the thought, and looks away from him before she bursts into tears. Thane never liked it when Shepard mourned him before he was dead.

Shepard turns back over and stares at her wall and nightstand absently. She keeps a picture of Thane by her bed. She studys it. He was smiling, holding her close to him. She smiles and then looks up at her ceiling as she lets out a long sigh. She then closes her eyes, but she can't find sleep. She finds herself looking back at Thane. She loves him so much, but she just doesn't know if he'll ever know. She absently strokes his face. He doesn't twitch. His stomach rises and falls ever so quietly. Shepard inches forward, tempted to set her head on his chest. But she resists, for a moment.

She takes in the scene. She doesn't know how much longer her or Thane will be alive. She wants to remember this scene. She almost becomes jealous of how Drells can memorize pieces of their past with perfect clarity, but then quickly changes her mind when she thinks about Saren, Sovereign, and the Collectors. Shepard studys everything, hoping she will remember this scene. She gently lays her head on his chest, and sets his arm around her. She can hear his heart beat, and feel him breathe. It sounds so calm, making her forget about all of her responsibilities.

Shepard closes her eyes for a moment, and then breaks out in silent tears. She doesn't know why she's crying exactly, but it's for a jumble of things. She cries for Thane, the dying Drell in her bed, she cries for all of her fallen friends, she cries because of the huge amount of people depending on her. Shepard regrets having thoughts about just disappearing, or just backing out. She wipes the tears from her eyes and steadys her breath. Oh how she desperatley wants to live in this moment for the rest of her life.

The clock reads 1:18. Shepard hasn't slept in weeks. She hopes Thane doesn't find out, or he will make her. She doesn't want to plunge right back into the horrible nightmares that plauge her sleep. Shepard becomes sleepy while laying with Thane. She wants nothing more than to let her eyes close, but she can't. She won't. She stares at Thane's green skin, carefully looking at each scale and the details. She runs her finger down the middle of his chest, feeling his soft, smooth, scaly, skin. She breathes his scent in and stares at her blank wall.

Time seems to have stopped. Shepard almost gets up, out of bed. But she stops herself. She wants to lay here, but at the same time she could use a shower. Shepard gets up quickly and quietly, watching Thane as she gets up, hoping not to disturb him. She succeeds, and slips into her bathroom.

She peels off her sweat soaked Cerberus top and throws it into the corner. She undoes her belt and takes off her boots. Her feet are sticky and sweaty, along with the rest of her body. She takes her pants off and throws them in the corner along with the shirt. Finally she unhooks her bra, and takes off her underwear. She seems a lot cooler now. Shepard turns on the hot water and lets it pour down her face and body. She's to tired to actually wash herself, but the water feels nice.

She closes her eyes, loosing herself in thought. When her and Thane first met, when Thane confessed his feelings for her, there first night together. She feels butterflies enter her stomach and she quickly opens her eyes. Thane stands behind her, softly kissing her neck. Shepard smiles and turns into him. He has too, taken his clothes off. Thane embraces her and they stand silently for a moment. Thane has no idea how much she is hurting, how much pain and guilt she feels each day. Shepard starts to cry again, much to her own dismay.

Thane puts his finger gently under her chin, and lifts her face up. He looks deep into her eyes and wipes her tears away. It doesn't really help, but she apprieciates the gesture. Thane parts his lips for a moment in thought, and then closes them. Tears keep coming from her eyes. Thane pulls her head into his chest and she holds him close. Thane strokes her dark, wet, brown locks. Shepard can remember that Thane never understood human hair, and she smiles.

Thane looks down at her and smiles back. Water pours over both their faces. Thane silently grabs the small bar of soap from behind her and starts rubbing it ever so gently across her back. His hands massaging her back. She immediatly slumps forward, her muscles easing. He takes some soap and rubs in into her hair. The soap collects on the tile floor. Thane sets it aside and runs his hand through her hair, scrubbing it with more force. Dislogding debris and clumps of blood.

Thane turns the shower off and grabs two towels from the hanging rack. He wraps one around her and one around himself. Thane sweeps her into his arms and Shepard grins. It is nearing 2 o'clock. Thane sits down on her couch, Shepard on his lap. Thane embraces her and holds her close. Shepard buries her face in his neck, kissing it gently. Thane rubs her back. Shepard can feel herself falling asleep, but fear consumes her.

Thane looks at her concerned, and she shakes her head, trying to rid of sleep. Thane caresses her cheek, and he slowly shuts her eyelids with his hand. He guides her head to his chest, where she lays and slowly drifts to sleep.

Shepard awakes with a start. Naked, on the couch, covered with blankets, and alone. The clock reads 4:00 am. Shepard rubs her eyes, and then searches the room for Thane. He enters her cabin and looks at her with a smile on his face. He silently lays next to her and sets his arm around her bare stomach. Shepard smiles. Thane strokes her belly, making her giggle. Thane seems amused, and continues to do so. Shepard laughs even harder, and then turns toward Thane to get him to stop.

Their faces are extremely close to each other, and Shepard looks deep into his eyes. She can see his dark green irises. Thane brushes a piece of hair behind her ear and strokes her cheek. Thane leans forward and presses his lips against hers gently. She yawns after he pulls away. Thane looks at her knowingly. She should really get some sleep. Shepard closes her eyes, and once again falls into a deep sleep.

Shepard awakes again, only this time it's 10:00 am. She sits up slowly, Thane sits on her bed. Smiling. Shepard is still naked so she heads to her dresser and pulls on some simple, navy blue, sweatpants and a camo tank top. Thane politly looks away.

Shepard walks back to him and kisses his cheek. She starts to head for her door, when Thane leaps up and grabs her from behind. She lets out a little squeal, which startles Thane at first. Thane quickly warms up to the new sound Shepard has made and spins her around so that she's facing him. Thane strokes her arm as he looks deep into her eyes. He gives her that look either when something really bad has happened, or when something really good has happened. Shepard suddenly remembers his keprals syndrome and looks at the floor.

"Siha," Thane says gently, moving his hand up to touch her cheek. Shepard holds his hand to her cheek and stares at him, waiting for him to continue. "I don't have much time left."

Whenever he gave her that look, it was always bad news. Shepard backs away abruptly, shaking her head in denial. She always knew that Thane didn't have much time left, but hearing him say it himself broke her heart in more ways then Thane could imagine. Her eyes travel around the room, refusing to land on Thane. She rubs her eyes trying to delay the tears, knowing Thane wouldn't be happy if she cried.

"No." Shepard says the word simply, in a tone barely audible. She could feel Thane staring at her, noticing her reaction, burning it into his brain. This would be a memory he would never forget.

Shepard finally looks up at Thane. His eyes sad, regretful. She stares at him for a moment, and then turns and walks out of her room.

Shepard knows that she shouldn't of abandoned Thane in her room, but she couldn't help it. Anger, regret, confusion, sadness, all welled up inside of her, just pushing to get out. Shepard heads to her old friend, Liara T'Soni's, office.

Liara is sitting on her bed, staring at her datapad, when Shepard walks in. The blue asari immediatly looks at her, shocked. Liaras eyes are calm, and accepting. Liara sets her datapad on her neat, white, bed and walks towards her.

"Shepard?" Liara asks, he voice angelic and beautiful in a way. Liara's eyes search Shepards.

Shepard buries her face in her hands and starts crying. She knows Liara has never seen her like this, but she knew Liara would see her cry soon enough. Liara hugs her. Shepard has done this many times before to her old, blue, friend in her times of need. Liara was returning the favor.

Liara guides Shepard to her bed, and Shepard slowly sat down, to focused in crying than sitting. Shepard wipes her eyes and her gaze focuses on Liara.

"Are you alright?" Liara asks genuinley concerned about Shepard. Liara lowers her head a bit to meet Shepard eyes.

Shepard shakes her head slowly, staring absently at the beds blank covers. Liara sets her hand on Shepards arm, gently. Liara's skin is cold, and rough. Shepard looks at her, she feels tired, and frustrated.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Liara asks, taking things slow. Liara waits for a moment, Shepard doesn't respond. She is to wrapped up in thought and her own emotions that Liara seems light years away.

"Is it about the mission?" Liara now starts guessing, hoping she triggers something deep in Shepards mind to make her talk. "What about friends? Planets?" Liara's eyes than widen in recognization, she knows what's wrong. "Shepard, is it about Thane?"

Life returns to Shepards eyes as she looks up to Liara. Shepard really never explains her relationship to anyone, she treats everything like a secret. Tears threaten to return to Shepards eyes and she stands.

"Shepard-" Liara stands and tries to stop Shepard from leaving. She realizes that her friend seems off, and that she should really get someone to talk to her. She feels as if Shepard is an empty shell. A husk.

Shepard pulls away forcefully and flees from the room. She enters the womens restroom. It's quiet, just the way Shepard likes it, just the way she wants it. She slides down the tile wall, feeling defeated. She had tried so hard, but in the end it always fails. She closes her eyes and lets her head fall back and hit the tile wall with a small thud. She lets out a long, depressing sigh.

After a moment or so, it hits her. Why is she down here, mourning Thane's death. He's not even dead yet. Shepard feels like she had wronged Thane, again. She stands and a rush of dizziness hits her. She walks through it and then takes the elevator back to her room, she is ready to apoligize.

Thane sits motionlessly on the bed as Shepard enters her small, dark room. Shepard tilts her head a bit, her eyes full of sorrow.

"Siha," Thane says looking away from her, his back hunched. His hands are neatly collected on his lap. "I know that you must feel...sad." Thane almost never stumbled on words, he might be more depressed and sad then he originally let on.

Shepard slightly nodded, she now looks at the floor. Shepard feels bad for how she acted. She approaches the bed quietly, silently.

"Thane," Shepard says softly, the word leaving her mouth like silk.

Thane raises his right hand swiftly, motioning for her to stop talking. Shepard had learned that in the previous months of their relationship.

"Siha, I love you more than you can imagine... and I know I originally said that I do not like it when you mourn me early, but I figured that we need to discuss.. our options." Thane's voice croaks. His hand returns back to his side.

Shepard steps forward, confused.

"You mean?" Shepard squints her eyes and her brow furrows. She looks at Thane with her soft, green, eyes.

"I am considering a transplant, Siha," Thane sighs. Shepard cannot see his face, but she can only imagine how confused and scared he might be. "I want to be around for a while, I want to see you defeat the Reapers, I want to retire with you. There is just so much that I want to do."

Thane had originally been completley against the idea of a transplant. Shepard had begged him, and begged him. Thane's response always being, I am now at peace with myself. Her earlier reaction must've changed his mind, or he had been considering this for a while, and he hadn't had the courage to tell her.

"Are you sure?" Shepard asks, even though she feels thrilled and excited. She doesn't want to make him regret his decision, but she also wants to make sure he is doing this for his own sake.

"Yes, Siha," Thane nods slowly and looks back at her. "Dr. Chakwas and I have discussed it. The surgery is tomorrow."

Shepards eyes widen.

"Tomorrow?" She chokes out. "Why haven't you told me?"

Thane stands motionless for a moment, he seems to be collecting his thoughts. He looks away from her. Shepard feels as if something is really wrong.

"There is a chance that I will not make it, Siha..." Thane looks back at her, tears in his eyes. Thane rarely cried.

Tears come to Shepards eyes too. Her heart filling with anxiety and nerves. Thane stands and embraces her. They stand silently in the middle of her cabin, Thane's skin feels cold, and smooth. She buries her head in his chest and sobs. Why did life have to be hard, she loved Thane. She couldn't even imagine being without him. Thane hugs her harder, which makes Shepard cry more and more. Her tears falling down her face and onto Thanes chest.

Shepard stays up all night, as does Thane. Shepard basically holds her breath, she knows Dr. Chakwas will be up soon to gather Thane.

Shepard sits in Thane's lap, shivering. She's nervous, scared, angry, everything. She is afraid. Afraid that Thane will leave her cabin and never return, afraid that Thane will never hold her like this again. She closes her eyes slowly and tries to distract herself. It does not work.

"Siha," Thane says gently. Shepard directs her attention toward him, looking at him intently, swallowing every word. "I know this is hard of me to ask, but will you be there, with me?"

Thane's basically pleading. He wants Shepard to be there with him. She can tell that he is almost as scared as Shepard is.

Shepard nods slowly, he wants her to be there, and if this is their last day together, and if that is his dying wish, than she will fulfill that.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard sits beside Thane, it was almost time. Almost near the end. It would be the end either way, Thane would live and be safe or die and -hopefully- be at peace. Shepard draws closer to him, unintentionally and unknowingly. He seems to sense her doubt and depression and pulls her into yet another hug. It felt so... Original, so safe. _He_ made her feel safe. _He _kept her sane. What would she do when he was gone? That was the one questions that she always found herself coming back to. _What would she do when he was gone? _Almost every night that question had found a way to crawl back into her head, even when she tried so hard to forget. She didn't want to think about it, she didn't want to think about herself falling apart, think about herself crumbling, every last bit of sanity she held within her grasp... Failing. That's what would ultimatly happen. If Thane died, she wouldn't have the will to go on. This wasn't one of those crew morale things, a feeling that she could keep bottled up inside. She, Commander Shepard, would literally fall apart. The war would be lost even before it had officially begun.

Shepard had been so lost in thought that she had forgotten that Thane was with her, next to her, and alive. She scolded herself once again, for thinking about what would happen when he died. He wasn't dead yet, and he might not be for a long time. She would take things as they came at her, every horrible, suspenseful, breath-taking thing. As much as it hurt, she would be patient, as much as it made her gut turn in anticipation she would wait. She could be patient, she could do it.

Thane starts stroking her soft, brown hair, as if knowing that she had spaced out again, it was always a telltale sign when she stared out into oblivian. They both remain silent. Shepard's not sure why. She could safely assume that any other couple would be talking, trying to grasp onto what was happening and make sense of it, but Shepard knew perfectly well what was happening or what was going to happen.

Thane was going to go into surgery, and Dr. Chakwas, and various other Normandy medical staff, were going to attempt to give him synthetic lungs that would hopefully kill off the Keprals virus completley, and he would hopefully wake up. Dear God, let him wake up. On the opposite side, Thane's body would reject the lungs and without lungs... He would die.

She could almost not stand it. Not stand facing the inevitable, not knowing what would happen... Not even knowing the odds, was killing her. Was she, herself, even sure that she wanted to do this. She knew that she was the one who had been begging Thane, the one _pleading_ to him. Now that the time was almost here... Did she really want this. Did Thane want this?

"Thane," She says, her tone barely audible. She looks upward, her eyes soft, but sad at the same time.

Thane looks down at her, his eyes potraying sadness as well. Her heart is in a jumble of knots and she starts feeling anxious, her stomach keeps fluttering and her palms get sweaty.

"Do...'' She falters and feels a embaressing blush blossom on her cheeks. ''Do you want to do this?'' She finally manages to sputter out.

''Yes,'' Thane nods slowly, his answer sounding definite. ''There is so many reasons why, Siha,'' He says looking back upward. ''But...'' He freezes and his eyes flick upwards as he slips into another memory, or what he refers to as solipsism. _''Brown hair flies in the warm summer breeze. The smell of salt water in the air. 'Thane!' She laughs, a smile spreading on her scarred face. She reaches towards me, arms outstreached. I grab her and lift her into the air in a spin. 'You're a lot stronger than you let on.' She says, impressed. She kisses my cheek and laughs again. 'Thanks for coming with me.' She smiles. We settle down on the sand, her head in the crook of my neck. 'I could stay here forever.' She says dreamily.'' _

She stares at him, a bit taken aback. She remembers. She closes her eyes and sighs, a small content grin coming to her lips. Those were so happy times, she never wants to forget, but all they bring back is pain. It hurts to remember.

''You see, Siha,'' Thane begins, looking back down at her. ''I remember when Irikah was killed, how... Empty I felt. I felt powerless, I felt like I couldn't go on. I had a new job, to avenge her. After that... I had nothing, nothing to live or fight for. Kolyat was grown up, and we... were no longer close. I don't want you to feel as I did, I don't want you to go through that pain. I don't want to hurt you. If there is anything I have, I have the will power, and that will power will get me through this. I promise you, Siha.''

Shepard remains silent. Those words, they meant everything to her. _I don't want to hurt you. _If anything, Thane _would_ hurt her if he died, whether he wanted to or not. She would feel hurt and empty. Just like he had explained. Shepard felt incredibly better, not that it shows on her face.

''Thane, Shepard,'' Dr. Chakwas enters the room, almost unnoticed. The couple remain silent, as they had been for the past few -painful- hours.

Although they remain silent, they acknowledge the doctor.

''It's almost time,'' Chakwas says as she walks forward, a datapad in her hand. ''I just thought that I should take some... time. To explain how this is going to work.''

Shepard can already feel herself losing it, losing all of her possible sanity. Thane squeezes her hand and plants a light kiss on her forehead, in understanding.

''Please do,'' Thane gives a nod. ''I'm sure it would help reassure both of us, Shepard especially.''

Shepard looks up at the doctor, and she continues to remain silent. What could she say. All she needed to do right now was listen. Asking questions or even showing signs of curiousity always ended badly, for her especially.

''Alright,'' Chakwas takes a seat on the leather couch, besides them. She sets her hand on Shepard's knee. The doctor also could sense that her Commander was stressed. She hated seeing her like this, in such a depressing silence. Chakwas knew that the pressure was on for her. ''So, basically what we are going to do is replace parts of your lung, the infected parts specifically, with synthetic lungs. If you want to you could compare with some of our Commander's synthetic parts. Parts of the spine, some synthetic organs...'' Chakwas voice dies out as she makes the comparison. ''So, as we explained earlier, there is a significant chance that you will make it out of this operation unscathed, and your Keprals will be gone. But,'' Chakwas chooses her next words carefully. ''As you know, there is a chance things might... Not work out like we hope.''

Shepard continues to look up, but deep inside she died a little once again. She was usually never nervous, but know she was. It wasn't a 'get this right' nervous it was an even deeper uncomfortable feeling.

''I want you to keep an open mind,'' Dr. Chakwas nods. She then diverts her eyes from Thane to Shepard. ''And, I don't want _you_ to worry so much, there is a 99% chance that he'll be perfectly fine. We're luck he didn't wait until it was too late.''

Shepard lets out a small sigh of relief, hearing a proffesional doctor say that, especially a doctor who had had her back for years, always had been loyal, she trusted her.

''Thank you...'' Shepard murmers, looking down.

Thane rubbed her back. He had never seen her this depressed. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to make her come along, the poor girl could barely handle this and it hurt him.

Dr. Chakwas stood up and sighed. She rubbed her hair with her hand.

''Okay,'' Chakwas sighed. ''We're ready for you, Thane.''

That's when Shepard's heart plummets about fifty feet. Her breathing gets heavy and Thane pulls her into another hug.

''Siha,'' He whispers, again finding himself stroking her short brown hair. ''It will be okay, I promise.''

Shepard finds his eyes and then nods. For once, she hopes he's right. She hopes that in the end it will all be okay.

Shepard holds his hand tightly and she feels slighty bad about it. Thane doesn't complain, he actually holds her hand tight too. The anxiety was raising in Shepard's body and her head was spinning literally, and much to her dismay, she begins to shake.

The elevator ride seems to take a million years. Shepard leans on Thane for support and Thane wraps his arms around her. The elevator, eventually opens and Shepard can't almost stand the sight of the med-bay door. She stumbles back, but Thane catches her swiftly. Like he always has. He gives her a reassuring smile and squeezes her hand.

Once they're inside Shepard can't handle it. All the stress and anxiety comes boiling up and she immediatly doubles over and retches, she had not eaten all day, so almost nothing comes up. Except for stomach acid and more clear liquid.

Thane immediatly pats her back and Dr. Chakwas looks her over then back up at Thane.

''Shepard,'' Chakwas begins, bending down to wipe her Commander's face off with a rag. ''I think it would be best for you, health wise, to stay with Dr. T'Soni while the prochedure is in place.''

She stands back up and sways to the side. Thane steadies her. Shepard looks at the Drell and he gives a nod.

''Siha,'' Thane strokes her cheek. ''I think that would be best. I do not want to worry you anymore.''

Shepard nods silently, once again.

''I'll be here when you wake up,'' She assures. ''I promise.''

Thane gives her one last final kiss and they hug. They stay frozen for a few moments, and then Dr. Chakwas escorts Shepard to Liara's office.

Liara once again welcomes them with open arms, genuinely happy to see the Commander. Shepard stands back a little, no expression on her face, as Chakwas pulls Liara to the side, no doubt to instruct her on how to deal with the -at the moment- almost metally ill Commander.

Chakwas then pats Liara on the back and gives Shepard one last reassuring smile.

''He'll be okay,'' Liara smiles and leads her over to her bed. Shepard sits, her hands neatly folded in her lap. ''Thane is one of the strongest, most strong willed person that I know. Your love for each other will help. He'll make it, Commander. I know he will.''

Shepard finds herself looking up at her Asari friend, a smile actually on her lips.

''Thank you, Liara,'' Shepard says. It's the first thing she's said in a while. ''That means a lot.'' Shepard pushes her own hair back behind her ear, it feels a bit unnatural, since Thane had a habit of doing that for her. ''And thanks for letting me stay here. I need a friend right now.''

''Now problem,'' The girl smiles. ''You helped me at the Shadow Broker base. I should return the favor... And this is a big deal, a big deal for everyone.''

Shepard nods. She wonders in everyone is worried, or if it's just her.

''Is... Everyone worried?'' She asks. It would be nice to know that she wasn't alone, that all of the crew cared for the Drell assassin.

''Of course they are!'' Liara exclaims. ''We're family. We all are.''

Shepard hugs her blue Asari friend and tears run down her face.

''I'm sorry,'' Shepard apoligizes as she wipes the tears away. ''I've just been under a lot of stress... and pain...''

''I understand,'' Liara says as she pats Shepard's shoulder. ''You should get some rest,'' She offers. ''It'll make everything go by faster.''

I nod.

''Okay,'' Shepard says. ''I should.''

Shepard lays down, nervousness still in her system. She has to sleep, the sooner she does the sooner she can see if Thane is okay.

''Shepard!'' Liara pratically shakes her awake.

Shepard awakes, startled. Thoughts invade her head once again, as much as she doesn't want them too. _Where was Thane? Was he okay? What's wrong? _

''Liara!'' Shepard can barely control her emotions or her voice tone.

''The surgery is over,'' The Asari says. ''Chakwas wants to see you.''

Shepard stands up awfully fast and another rush of dizziness hits her. She walks forward and even more anxiety hits her. She was nervous and worried and everything. What is she was never going to see Thane again. _I don't want to hurt you._ His words echo in her head. She rushes forward, saying a quick goodbye to Liara.

''Chakwas?'' Shepard asks as she looks around quickly, spinning in circles.

''Shepard,'' Chakwas says. ''Please stop freaking out.'' The doctor holds her hand out and places it on Shepard's shoulder.

''Is he okay?'' She asks frantically, feeling a flurry of emotions.

''Yes,'' Chakwas smiles warmly. ''Everything went well, we don't detect anymore Keprals in his system. He will, although, require further treatment. At this point, we're just waiting for him to wake up.''

Shepard can't control the tears of happiness flowing down her face. At that moment all the pain, depression, anxiety, all of it disappears in a blink of an eye. Gone.

''Can... Can I see him?" She asks hopefully.

''Of course,'' Chakwas says.

Shepard follows Chakwas into the med-bay and she immediatly sees Thane, laying unconcious on a bed. He looked so... Peaceful. Shepard took a seat next to the bed and incased his left hand in her two hands. She ran her finger along his hand and arm.

''When will he be awake?'' She asked, looking up momentarily at the doctor.

''He should be awake any time now,'' Chakwas smiled.

The med-bay then went silent, except for the occasional beeping sound of Thane's heart through the machinary. It soon grows late into the night, and Shepard can already feel the exhaustion of the days events catching up with her.

As she starts to lose herself in tiredness, Thane stirs. Shepard's eyes flick in his direction just in time to see him open his eyes.

''Thane!'' She exclaims. Not daring to embrace him.

''Siha,'' He says quietly. ''Am... Am I okay?''

More tears start coming down her face and she nods happily.

''Yes, yes you are."


	3. Chapter 3

Thane has to remain in the Normandy's med-bay for a while, and Shepard has Joker, reluclantly dock the smooth ship at the Citadel's already crowded docks. Thane drifts in and out of sleep, which is understandable, he tries to keep up minor, short conversations with Shepard whilst he's awake and she replies with nods, solemly with words.

According to the doctor he should be able to get up and move within the next few days, and Shepard silently hopes that Kolyat, Thane's only son, will show up. She had made sure to send him a message and give him clearence to her ship. Time would only tell if he loved and cared for his father enough to show up.

Shepard's brown hair falls into her face as her head bobs forward, a symptom of her -continueingly growing- exhaustion. She can't fall asleep, not until she knows for certain that Thane is okay. She tries to keep her tiredness covert so Chakwas doesn't go and make her sleep.

"Commander?'' The doctor asks, looking up from her terminal, a pen in her hand.

Shepard's head shoots up and she readys herself to argue with the doctor, thinking that she wants her to go up to her cabin to sleep. Shepard knew that sleep wouldn't come. Not until Thane was with her again.

''If you would like to sleep on one of the med-bay beds, then you're welcome too,'' Chakwas motions to the very bed Shepard was sitting on at that moment.

She is realived, and instead of fighting the doctor, she decides that it might not be such a bad idea. She would be here, close to Thane, and be able to wake up if something bad were to happen, but she also could sleep, and be -somewhat- worry free. It was a fair compromise.

Shepard gives a quick nod and stands up to get her a blanket and pillow.

''This would also be fairly good,'' Chakwas pauses as she reaches up on her tippy toes to get a decent, sterile, blanket. ''For me to examine your sleeping patterns.'' Shepards not sure if the doctor had finished her thought so she continues to listen as Chakwas grabs a pillow from one of the lowest shelfs. ''I'm worried about you, Shepard,'' Chakwas says honestly, making eye contact. ''So, that's why I need to somehow try to get inside your head.'' Chakwas hands her the kelly green blanket and the white pillow.

She quietly sets up her bed and gets settled. She rotates her body so she can see the Drell in his bed. He looks peaceful and Shepard enjoys that. A small smile spreads on her lips and the beds are so close together that she gets up on one elbow and kisses his forehead. She lays back down, exhausted. Her arms lay at her side and she's a straight as a plank. She really can't think of any other comfortable pose to be in.

Chakwas shuts off the lights before returning to the Crew's Quarters where she spends her nights. She instructs Shepard to keep and eye on Thane and alert her if anything should happen. Shepard obligies, as well as the Normandy's AI, EDI.

In the midst of the darkness Shepard thinks. She finds herself doing this a lot nowadays. With all of this stressful situations and her own self depression she has seemed to manage the almost impossible task of forgetting about the war. The Reaper War. How did she do that?

As fast as all of the Thane stress left her system all the Reaper War stress comes right in to replace it. She feels her stomach churn and she longs for Thane to be awake and comfort her, but that seems impossible for the moment. She looks back at him, her eyes straining to see through the dark room. She sees the outline of his body and she extends her hand to grab his.

Shepard falls asleep peacefully, Thane's hand in hers.

When Shepard awakes Thane is sitting up in his bed and looking around like a lost puppy.

''Thane?'' She asks, sitting up on her own bed.

Thane immediatley looks at her and smiles. It's the first time in a long time that she's seen him smile. He moves to get up but Shepard stops him and comes to sit on his bed. Which was slightly more comfortable then her own.

''How are you feeling?" She asks, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Thane places his own hand over hers and smiles again at her, she smiles back.

''Better than I did before,'' Thane grins, felicity over taking his face.

''I guess that's improvement,'' Shepard shrugs, her mood already lifting. She shifts herself so that she's sitting in front of Thane now.

The room goes awkwardly silent and Shepard looks down. She plucks at the white sheets absently as he brunette hair falls down into her face. Thane brushes it back behind her ear and runs his index finger along her cheekbone and jaw line. Shepard's eyes trail back upward and she looks into his eyes, they reveal his dark green irises that she is always constantly searching for.

''Great, you two are up!'' Dr. Chakwas enters the med bay looking rather enthusiastic and -somewhat- ruining the couples intimate moment.

Both of them look over at her at the same time, honestly eager to hear her words. The older woman held multiple datapads in her hand. She took a seat in her usual spot and collected and organized herself before looking back up at them.

''So I ran some tests, just to be sure that Thane is doing okay,'' Chakwas smiles. ''And I would like to announce that we were victorious. He will require further check-ups so we can make sure everything is okay with his synthetic lungs.''

Shepard and Thane look at each other for a moment, completley speechless. Dr. Chakwas had done it again, she had somewhat changed Shepard's life, for the better.

''Thank you,'' Thane says softly with a small bow. It was his way of giving his thanks.

''You're welcome. I am so happy that this was successful.'' Chakwas claps her hands together.

''As are we.'' Thane looks down at Shepard and wraps an arm around her shoulder. Shepard leans into him, and looks up at his face. Thane bends down and kisses her forehead again.

''Hopefully, you'll be feeling well soon and will be able to walk and return to resting in Shepard's cabin,'' Dr. Chakwas said with a final nod as she returns to working on her terminal screen.

''Shepard,'' Thane sighs, still sitting in the med-bay bed. ''You can't hold off on this for much longer.''

Shepard falls back onto the bed next to her lover. She had been somewhat intentionally holding off talking to the diplomats that we supposed to board her ship several days ago. The Normandy was still docked at the Citadel, who's docks were getting fuller by the day.

''But,'' She starts, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for procrastinating.

''Siha, I am out of surgery and am feeling better, there is no more reason for you to worry about me,'' The Drell says truthfully, giving Shepard that knowing look that he had.

''Fine,'' Shepard pouts, sticking out her bottom lip like a baby. She moves to stand but Thane stops her by sticking out his hand and grabbing her upper right arm.

''I didn't say you had to do it _right_ now,'' The assassin smirks.

''You're an evil distraction,'' Shepard comments, a playful, flirty hint in her tone. She can feel herself bouncing back from that depression she was in only a few days earlier. ''I need to at _least _have Joker set the ship on course.''

Thane nods understandingly and Shepard stands again. Thane looks at her confusingly.

''I think I'm going to actually talk to him today,'' Shepard says looking at the Drell's face, looking for a reaction. She wasn't sure what kind. ''I'll be right back.''

Shepard turns and exits the room rather quickly, she honestly needed a break from all the sterile, white, clean, sheets and walls and everything. She disliked it very much.

Shepard catches the elevator, somewhat lucky that Garrus or Liara didn't want to talk to her. She had a job to do, even if that just included walking down to the bridge and asking the pilot to set a course for the diplomats ship.

The elevator is quiet. Like it normally should be, Shepard was just used to being in the elevator with someone else, that someone else usually being Thane. The doors slide open on Deck 2, and Samantha Traynor immediatly greets her.

''How is Thane doing?'' She asks, the tan girl has a British accent and cropped black hair that remains tucked behind her ears.

''He is actually doing pretty good, he's been confined to the bed though,'' Shepard laughs and does a little half-shrug trying to portray the 'what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it-look'.

''Bummer, must be pretty hard for an assassin like that,'' Traynor assumes.

''I wouldn't be surprised if he snuck out of bed, I think he can manage pretty well.'' Shepard than continues to navigate past the girl, giving her a small goodbye wave as she passes. Shepard makes her way to the bridge, turning and twisting to move between the wave of crew walking about.

''Moreau!'' Shepard sets her hands down forcefully on the back of his chair and peeks over the top.

''Holy Shit!'' Joker's head shoots upwards and he looks around panicked and frantically, looking for his Commander.

''Calm down,'' Shepard couldn't help but smile a bit, she had in fact, just scared her favorite pilot.

''You know, maybe you could go for a little more... Subtle hello. I thought the Normandy was going to _explode_ again.'' Joker collects himself and sits up straighter in his chair.

''I would _hope_ that you would actually know that your ship was about to explode and that I wouldn't have to tell you,'' She jokes as she walks to stand beside the chair.

''Har har,'' Joker does a fake laugh and rolls his eyes, Shepard notices him doing that a lot more often these days. ''Anyway, how's Thane?'' Joker asks, genuninly concerned.

''He's better, still confined to bed,'' Shepard pauses and smiles brightly. ''But, no more Keprals.''

''Wow,'' Joker says, speechless. ''That's... That's... Wow. That's awesome.''

''Yeah,'' Shepard nods. ''I don't think I'll be able to thank Dr. Chakwas enough.'' She holds her hands behind her back. ''Anyway, I need you to set a course for the Diplomats ship.''

''You're finally going to talk to them?'' Joker turns and looks at his Commander, Sarcastic Ass written all over his face.

Shepard decides to stop him before it starts.

''Just... Give me the ETA. I need to get back to the med-bay.'' Shepard holds her hand up, motioning for him to stop whatever he was going to do, and Shepard _knew_ that he was going to do something.

''Fine, fine,'' Joker sighs, honestly disappointed. ''ETA is...'' He pauses for a moment, his eyes flying over the screen in front of him. ''Three hours.''

''Thank you,'' Shepard says, somewhat realived that he didn't try anyhing. She wasn't in the mood to deal with his snarky remarks.

She turns to leave and literally runs into Primarch Victus.

''I'm sorry,'' Shepard backs away and looks up at the turian, hoping that she looks sorry, although she doesn't really _feel _sorry.

''It's okay,'' Victus gives her a quick nod. ''Samantha told me that you were up here, I was just wondering if we were going to be meeting with the diplomats soon?"

''Yes, actually. I just set us on course. ETA three hours,'' Shepard gives him a quick, respectful bow that almost mimics Thane. ''Now if you'll excuse me, Primarch, I have to get back to the med-bay.'' Shepard gives his a final nod and moves to get past him.

''Oh, the Drell!'' He exclaims, sounding like he just remembered Thane. ''How is he? I heard Dr. Chakwas was performing a risky surgery.''

''He's okay,'' Shepard smiles, trying to speed up the conversation. ''Still confined to bed, but recovering.''

''That's really good to hear,'' Victus smiles. ''It's nice to hear some good news in the middle of this god damned war.''

''I agree with you,'' Shepard smiles again, not really sure how to interact with this certain turian. ''Anyways, I promised Thane that I'd be back as soon as possible, so I should get back.''

''Of course,'' The Primarch nods and moves to the side. ''Have a nice day, Commander.''

Shepard gives him yet another goodbye nod as pratically races to the elevator, praying that no one else stops her to talk.

She is rather successful when she arrives back at the med-bay, no one had stopped her to talk.

Upon entering Shepard sees Thane, standing, with Chakwas being his support.

''Thane!'' Shepard rushes forward, really happy that he's standing again.

''Siha,'' Thane says slowly, he holds a hand to his chest area and he is bent over. He turns around slowly. His face shows pain.

''Are you okay?'' Shepard runs even closer to him and places her hand on his shoulder, making sure to support him.

''It's... Uh... Painful,'' He manages to sputter out and sits back down on the bed rather quickly.

Dr. Chakwas rushes over to him and gives the Drell a once over, her eyes scanning excessivley over his chest area where his stitches were located.

''How are you feeling?'' Dr. Chakwas asks him.

Shepard sits beside him, setting her hand over his.

''I'm okay.. Right now.'' Thane lets out a long breath.

''Maybe I shouldn't go meet with the diplomats,'' Shepard looks at Thane, worry all over her face.

''No, Siha. You need to. I was moving things along to fast. I just need some more times to heal.'' Thane puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Shepard makes the familiar move of placing hers over his. She gives him a weak smile with all of the energy she can muster.

''Don't worry, Shepard.'' Chakwas looks up at the young Commander. ''I'll keep a close eye on him. You're welcome to stay down here with him every night until we move him up to your room.''

''Thank you, Chakwas. I really apprieciate it.''

Dr. Chakwas moves away from the couple and back to her terminal where she immediatly starts typing up more reports. Shepard lays her head on Thane's shoulder and Thane grabs her hand.

''Don't worry, Siha. I'll be okay. I promise.''


	4. Chapter 4

A quick three hours later and Joker, the Normandy SR-2's pilot pulls the sly ship into the larger, grey, steel dormant ship that was so marvelous that a human equivalent would be a medieval castle, it was large, yet beautiful. Of course it was, it was the _diplomats _ship.

Shepard reluclantly leaves Thane and the painfully, irratating, sterile med-bay that was located on Deck 3 of the organized ship. She goes quickly up to her small, neat, cabin where she must change into her own diplomat uniform, she was in fact representing humanity.

The outfit is a bit neat and tidy for her tastes. She likes her own tight camo pants and shirt, along with her black combat boots that rose up above her ankle, but what kind of representitive would she be if she showed up looking like a soldier. She smooths out the coat, removing any unwanted wrinkles then studies herself in her full body mirror which was located in her bathroom. She turns to the side and sets her hands on her abdomen, as she often did unknowingly, it was her own personal little quirk.

Realizing that she was going to be unfashionably late she almost bolts from her cabin and down to Deck 2. She arrives on the deck and Samantha Traynor immediatly greets her.

''Commander, the diplomats wish to meet with you in the War Room,'' The girl says with an informative smile on her face.

''On the Normandy?'' Shepard asks surprised. She was almost positive that she'd be boarding their ship.

''Yes,'' Traynor nods. ''There were _some _arguements and complaints about your Krogan friend being on board their ship.''

Shepard gives a nod and then walks in the direction of the War Room. If her Krogan friend was going to mess up a ship, it might as well be her ship.

She is soon confronted with the blue scanner which annoys her to no end. When standing in it she has to stand still, one move and the whole thing gets messed. She would have to start all over again, it's also very time consuming.

Once past the annoying scanner she enters the glass convered room which contains only a wooden table. The room itself used to be the Normandy's tech lab, Shepard wasn't so happy about the change. The lab used to be a wonderful, well advanced lab where Mordin Solus would do his research, but now it was just a wooden table in an empty gray room with no life in it at all. The other diplomats were not present yet, if she was correct then Victus would be there, the Turian Primarch, who was also already aboard the Normandy. The man himself was an ass, not all Turians were, only Victus in general. The Salarian Dalatrass would also be there, the Salarians were always smartasses, but she has to admit that they were definetley smarter then the other Council species. Last, but not least were the Krogan, they were all badasses, and that's what she loved, they were in no way 'diplomatic material'. They had somehow welcomed the lovable headbutting creatures into their culture, or well, at least she, herself, had.

Shepard continues to wait for the hopefully level headed diplomats, she grows rather annoyed when a half an hour, none of them are there, including the turian who was already on the Normandy. She feels like an idiot, someone who got stood up for a date. She leans back on the table and thinks about Thane, she was here to meet with the diplomats, but they weren't there. Weren't diplomats supposed to be... Well, organized? Shepard lets out a long sigh then turns away from the table. She should be with Thane, not here waiting for some pain-in-the-ass diplomats that didn't even care enough to be _on time._ Shepard turns away, frustration showing on her face. She lets out one final sigh and pushes away from the table and tries not to storm out of the room.

She unfortuantley runs into the diplomats on her way out.

''Commander!'' The salarian dalatrass greets as they meet at the door. ''Sorry we're late.''

Shepard tries her best to hide the anger and frustration on her face and gives her best smile.

''Oh, it's okay,'' Shepard lies, you can almost see it dripping from her face.

She turns and 'accidently' gives the dalatrass a rough shove, she looks back, trying to hide the smile and she softens her eyes.

''I'm sorry, I forgot you were there for a second.'' The dalatrass gives an understanding nod and Shepard adds, ''I'm so used to walking to this room alone, I sometimes forget when I have visitors.''

They all enter the room, and finally Shepard gets to see her friend, Wrex. He shifts his weight often and glares at the other diplomats. The dalatrass and primarch respectivley keep their distance.

''Shepard,'' The Krogan finally says as his eyes land on her. Shepard feels somewhat at home, with the Krogan aboard the Normandy again.

''Wrex.'' She gives a small nod.

''Sorry we were late...'' Wrex glares once again at the other diplomats and shakes his head. ''Those two were having quite the argument about Krogans. I would've been on time if these two pyjacks hadn't insisted on me going through a million security stations...''

''It's alright, although next time I wouldn't mind a note or something telling me that. I have a lot to do, and waiting here for a half an hour for some diplomats was not on that list.'' Shepard doesn't try to hide the annoyance in her voice, she wanted them to feel bad.

''Like I said, Commander,'' The Salarian dalatrass speaks up. ''We are really sorry.''

Shepard shakes her head.

''It doesn't matter, let's just get on with this meeting.'' Shepard then looks up and her eyes scan the room, spending a few seconds on each diplomat.

Shepard starts out of the glass room, eager to change and check on Thane. It had been a somewhat long meeting. To put it in simpilar words, the Turians wanted support from Krogans to take some pressure off of Palaven, in doing this, the Turians would help Shepard destroy the Reapers. The Krogans would only help the Turians if the Salarians cured the Genophage. The Salarian dalatrass would have none of that. In the end, with enough pressure from all herself, the Primarch, and Wrex the dalatrass gave up the information on where some Krogan females were located. The Salarians were not interested in helping Shepard destroy the Reapers. Shepard was due to help the next morning. Wrex would remain on board, Shepard was going to help cure the Genophage, much to the Salarians distaste.

She doesn't have much time left, it was already growing late. She says a quick goodbye and diverts the questions that were connected with the flying rumors about a Drell on board that had survived Keprals. Shepard makes sure that they don't wander up to the third floor. Wrex and Victus were to remain in the War Room and the Salarian was to be off the Normandy, she doesn't linger with that.

Shepard says a quick hello and goodnight to Samantha Traynor, who is minutes away from being off duty for the night, as a favor, the Commander releaves her early. Shepard tries to make the elevator go faster, but evidently fails. The door dings and slides open on Deck 3. She hadn't bothered to change, no matter how much the diplomat clothing pissed her off. She hurries to the med-bay, where Thane sits upward on his bed.

''Shepard,'' The Drell looks up as his significant other enters the room. ''How was the meeting?''

She approaches the bed next to him and sits down, letting out a long sigh.

''As good as you can expect... Nobody is doing anything just to defeat the Reapers, they all want something...''

Thane leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees, he tilted his head a bit, she knows that look, he wants to know more.

''The turians will only help if Krogan forces enter Palaven to help with the Reapers there, the Krogans will only help the Turians if the Salarians cure the Genophage...'' Shepard looked downward and shook her head slowly.

''So... Are you...?'' Thane looks towards her, confusion on his face.

''Going to cure the Genophage?'' She asks for clarification, Thane nods. ''Yes, apparently we are.''

''I never though I'd see the day,'' Thane looks away. ''It feels like it's been forever.''

''I know right?'' Shepard says. ''But I'm going to do it. They deserve it, right? I mean, I'm doing the right thing, right...?''

''Of course, Siha. I believe in you,'' Thane sets a reassuring hand on my shoulder. ''Whatever you think is right, then I'll back you up. I have your back, Siha. I always will.''

''Thank you, Thane. That means a lot.'' I move to sit next to him and he sets his arm around me and pulls me closer to him. ''So, how are you?''

''I'm doing better,'' Thane pauses in thought. ''I'll hopefully be able to walk tomorrow. I'm really getting sick of this med-bay... I can't wait to be up in your apartment again.''

''My bed is way more comfortable...'' Shepard comments as she pats the med-bay beds.

''Then why don't you go sleep up there tonight? I don't mind.'' Thane runs his finger up and down her arm.

''No,'' Shepard answers immediatley. ''I'm not leaving you down here. I'll be fine.''

Thane shrugs, not sure what to say. His hand moves upward to Shepard's soft hair, he twirls it in between his fingers. Dr. Chakwas then enters the room and looks at them for a second before speaking.

''Well, I'm heading to the Crew's Quarters soon... Are you two all settled here?''

Shepard gives a quick nod then returns to look back up at Thane.

''Yes, Doctor.'' Thane nods. ''We'll be fine here.''

''Alright, just let me know if Thane needs anything, Shepard.'' Dr. Chakwas diverts her eyes to Shepard so that they are making eye contact.

Shepard gives her a silent nod, not returning the eye contact. Dr. Chakwas looks unsure for a minute and then turns slowly away. After a second she leaves the room and the door closes behind her.

''I should go to bed...'' Shepard's voice trails off as she starts to lay down in the bed next to the Drell. ''I'm headed to Grissom Academy to rescue some kids and then to an STG base on Sur'Kesh for some Krogan females with Wrex.''

''Sounds like you've got a long day ahead of you... Will you be okay? I mean, without me?'' Thane turns his head to look at the Commander, who was now laying down and under her covers.

''Of course,'' She answers with a smile. ''I'll be fine. Haven't I been before?'' Shepard props her head on one elbow and furrows an eyebrow.

''Well.. Yes,'' Thane pauses in thought. ''Just.. Be careful, okay?''

''Thane,'' Shepard says. ''Of course I will, I always am.''

''_Always?_'' Thane asks. ''Siha, there have been a few questionable moments in your history.''

''Well now I have somone to come back too, don't worry. I'll be fine.'' Shepard then leans upwards and plants a quick kiss on the assassins cheek before laying back down and closing her eyes.

She looked so worry-free when she was asleep. She was finally calmed down a bit. Thane didn't see that often, and he was glad to see it now. It was obvious on her face. The Drell had to admit he liked to see Shepard like that, she needed a break from the outside world. Thane was glad that she was finally asleep, it was a relief. He was worried about her, he honestly was. That was the thing he was _scared_ about, if he did die then there would be nobody left to worry about her like _he _did, nobody for her to lean on. He was thankful, very thankful. He would need to thank Chakwas a million times over for her to get how thankful he actually was.

She had changed his life, Chakwas had extended his life, he would be forever thankful. If there was still a good person in the Reaper-filled universe, it would be her.

Thane's eyes trail back down to Shepard, her chest rose and fell quietly and peacefully. He reached his hand out and ran his index finger down her right upper arm softly. He kisses her cheek lightly and then lays back down. He honestly can't fall asleep. He folds his hands on his chest and looks up at the dark ceiling of the med bay. Thane doesn't think he'll sleep tonight. Tonight he has Insomnia.


	5. Chapter 5

A/

**N Well here it is! Insomnia Part 5... Unfortunately I am going away next week for a technology free camping week! So this will probably be the last Insomnia update until next Saturday! Maybe, if I try really hard I can get Part 6 in! :) **

Shepard is plagued with nightmares, and she can't seem to get rid of them. They often jumped all around to different times in her life, but this one goes way back. Back to Saren. Back to Virmire. Where she had to choose one. Kaidan or Ash. She had chosen Kaidan and had felt bad about leaving Ashley behind almost every day.

She is unaware of it, but she twists and turns in her sleep. Thane had fallen asleep by then, he lay silently and peacefully. Fear overwhelms Shepard and she bolts upright, sweat beading her forehead, her blanket clung to her sweaty body. She couldn't be here, not right now. She knew what she needed. A drink. A nice, strong, drink. She creeps out of her bed and out of the room, her eyes locked on Thane's body as she moves past him.

She is soon out of the room and in the clear. She knew she should be sleeping. She had two important missions tomorrow, but she needed this. She feels a bit dizzy but dismisses it as she nears the lounge. She is kind of relieved that Kasumi was not aboard the Normandy anymore, or the thief would've surely caught her. As she enters the lounge alone a strike of loneliness hits her. She realizes then that she misses the Master Thief, the talks they could have. She misses the rough, scarred mercenary who shared drinks with her and didn't ask questions or tell her that she should be asleep, she missed the Asari justicar who would sit with her and tell her all about her adventures no matter how late at night. She missed her old crew, not just the people who helped her take down Saren and Sovereign, the crew that had helped her take on the Collectors. She wanted them by her side.

She shakes her head and ultimatley accepts that they weren't coming back. She spots the bar eagerly and practically races for it. The Commander grabs a shot glass from under the neon lighted bar and grabs a bottle of a bright purple liquid. Just as she unscrews the cap to drown her worries, fears, feelings, and regrets a sudden wave of more dizziness hits her and she looses her balance. Shepard catches herself on the counter, but not without somehow breaking the glass and cutting the palm of her hand. She blinks hard a few times and then pulls herself back up, smearing blood on the counter. But that doesn't help. Shepard tumbles downward again, this time not catching herself and hitting her head hard on the counter.

Shepard feels herself fading into black, and she's not sure why. She hadn't even taken a drink yet. Shepard begins to feel scared, she was going into the unknown and she didn't want to. Then, with much struggle, Shepard looses and is brought into the blackness.

Thane awakes, slowly at first, then he eventually had the strength to pull himself into an upright sitting position. He glances over at Shepard's bed, and is somewhat surprised to see her not there. Thane tries to stand, but his legs don't corporate. The assassin sits back down quickly before he, himself, tumbles to the floor. Thane considers all the options. She went to the bathroom, went back to her cabin, went to talk to a crew mate... But he didn't think that she would just leave him.

''EDI?'' Thane asks the AI, she in the past had always tried to joke with him, she was somewhat amusing. He still felt a little strange about talking to her, even if she did have a body now.

''Yes, Thane?'' She replies almost immediately.

''Can you get Dr. Chakwas for me?'' Thane croaks and he clears his throat quickly.

''Yes,'' She answers and moments later Chakwas runs into the room.

''Is anything wrong?'' She asks quickly, looking around and assessing the room.

''I have no idea where Shepard is, have you seen her?'' Thane asks worried.

''I actually haven't... Have you checked the bar? That's sometimes her midnight hangout place...'' The Doctor suggests.

''I would check it out, but I appear to still be weak,'' Thane looks down at his legs.

''Right!'' Dr. Chakwas announces, clearly tired. ''I'll go take a quick peek, and don't worry, you'll be walking in no time.''

Dr. Chakwas wastes no time, this could be a potential emergency, even though they weren't very often. There was really no telling what it could be, they were talking about Shepard after all, she listened to no one and followed her own rules. She leaves the med-bay quickly, giving Thane a reassuring smile and a quick nod. The large doors then slide to a hiss behind her.

The Doctor had to admit, she was a bit afraid. She knew she shouldn't be, that the Commander was strong, resilient, brave, and -sometimes- reasonable, but at the same time she was only human. Chakwas had been with Shepard since the very beginning, she knew it was only a matter of time before Shepard's mental health went downhill.

Dr. Chakwas heads for the lounge first, if Shepard was anywhere it would be there, getting a drink. She completley ignores the two bathrooms, the Starboard and Port Obsevations decks, Dr. T'Soni's Office, and the Main Battery, knowing that there was little possibility of her being there.

She spots the door and enters with a balance of caution and anxiousness. Dr. Chakwas isn't sure what she'll find. For one, the room could be empty, or she could just be having a few drinks and be fine, Shepard could be passed out on the counter... But those reasonable thought don't stop Chakwas from thinking about the worst outcomes. She shakes her head, trying to rid of them.

When the Doctor first enters the room it seems empty. Somewhat realived and disappointed she turns to leave, already thinking of new places the Commander might be. As she turns, something catches her eye. She quickly snaps her head back and looks at the counter more closely.

She spots the broken glass on the counter, along with the smear of blood.

Dr. Chakwas immediately snaps into medical mode, she assess the room and all of it's contents quickly, the practically rushes to the other side of the counter. Looking downward anxiously.

There, in a small puddle of her own blood, is Commander Shepard. She lays unconscious in a heap. Dr. Chakwas looks up and down her sleeping body for signs of trauma. The Doctor realizes that she won't be able to transport the injured girl to the med-bay by herself, and with Thane still being weak, she'd have to ask someone else, and fast.

Dr. Chakwas bolts from the lounge and into the first room she sees, Liara T'Soni's office. The blue Asari lays in her bed peacefully and asleep. Chakwas regrets having to wake her up, but she needs to. Liara would understand.

''Liara!'' Dr. Chakwas exclaims, rushing to the side of the girls bed.

Liara immediately sits upright, like many of the Normandy Crew when awoken suddenly. They had actually gotten used to that. Her bright blue eyes scan the room and then land on the Doctor.

''What's wrong?'' She asks worried, she rubs her eyes, but doesn't show any other signs of being tired. She is already beginning to stand up.

''Shepard's hurt. I need your help to move her to the med-bay.'' Dr. Chakwas tries to stay calm, and motions towards the lounges direction.

Liara furrows her brow in concern and doesn't ask any questions, that's what Chakwas liked about the Asari, she did as she was told. Dr. Chakwas begins running out of the room again and Liara follows, matching her pace.

The two enter the lounge and Dr. Chakwas immediately shows Liara where Shepard was laying. The Asari's eyes widen and she clasps a hand over an agape mouth.

''Oh, Goddess...'' Liara says slowly, not removing her eyes from the Commander. ''Is...Is, she okay?'' Liara now looks up at the Doctor.

Dr. Chakwas bends down to check her pulse, hoping that she has a happy answer to Liara's questions. She holds her breath and the lets out a long sigh when she feels the soft beats of Shepard's heart.

''She should be,'' Chakwas says with a small hopeful smile. ''Let's get her out of here, then I'll need you to come back and clean up.'' Dr. Chakwas looks at the blood and broken glass for a moment.  
Liara nods and then lets out a long sigh herself, her eyes trail back to the blood.

''Forget the blood,'' Chakwas says quickly, amazed that the Asari had seen so much blood, but still freeze at the sight of her Commanders.

Liara looks back up at the Doctor and nods, giving her hands a little nervous shake. She then leans down and grabs Shepard's black combat boots. Dr. Chakwas supports the Commander's shoulders and they lift her carefully, with a bit of speed mixed in.

They hurry, or try to hurry back to the med-bay, more blood dripping from Shepard. Now Chakwas gets concerned. How hard had she hit her head? And more importantly why had she passed out? Liara tries not to look scared as droplets of crimson color rain fall from the Commander's hand and head. Liara knew that that could not be good.

They rush into the room quickly, Thane looks up and his black eyes widen. The set Shepard on a med bay bed and Dr. Chakwas orders for Liara to get Garrus and EDI. Liara gives a quick nod and rushes in the Main Batteries direction. Dr. Chakwas gets to work on finding out where the blood is coming from as Thane watches, speechless.

The Doctor moves the Commander's head slowly and carefully and it relieved to find that she hadn't hit her head hard enough to crack the skull or damage the brain. She sighs rather loudly and then moves down to check her hand, which was cut worse then her head.

A stream of the crimson colored liquid runs down her upper arm. Dr. Chakwas grabs a sterile rag and starts wiping away at it. Her eye catches Thane.

''Thane, hold the rag to her hand, we need to stop the bleeding. She cut it pretty bad.'' Chakwas holds out the rag and the Drell takes it silently, his eyes stuck on Shepard's body. He leans forward a bit and presses it to the cut.

''What did she do?'' Thane asks, more to himself then to Chakwas. ''What did she do...''

A moment later Garrus Vakarian rushes in and looks at Shepard.

''Spirits, what happened?'' Garrus looks between Chakwas and Thane.

''I found her in the lounge, passed out and with blood everywhere,'' Dr. Chakwas starts to dab water on the cut on her head.

''So, what do you need me to do?'' Garrus asks eagerly, looking around quickly.

''Grab me some gauze from the top drawer right there,'' Chakwas does her best to point in that general direction. Garrus catches on quickly and grabs some of her sterile white gauze.

Dr. Chakwas grabs it from him and starts wrapping it around her head, Thane continues to hold the now bloodied rag to her hand. He was worried.

Shepard awoke slowly, sporting a killer head ache. She saw the bright white ceiling and the remembered what had happened. She had passed out last night. Shepard reaches up carefully with her right hand, feeling a sharp pain on her palm. She tiredly squints at the gauze wrapped around her hand, blood soaking through a bit and remembers the broken shot glass.

She puts that hand down and the reaches up with her left, lightly brushing her forehead and feeling the gauze that was wrapped around her head. Her head hurt. A lot. That was what she got for passing out and hitting her head on a bar counter.

She turns her head slowly, and spots Thane, sitting upward, his head in his hands.

''Thane?'' She asks quietly.

He looks up and directly at her.

''Siha!'' He says with a smile. ''You're okay!''

Shepard smiles back at him. It then fades as she notices his face become worried.

''You're not still planning on going to Grissom or Sur'Kesh today, right?'' Thane asks, folding his hands in his lap.

''Are you crazy?'' Shepard doesn't sit up. ''Of course I am, I have too. They need my help.''

''But, Siha...'' Thane leans forward a bit, a concerned look on his face.

''I'm going. Just because I fell and hit my head doesn't mean anything.'' She stands quickly, then immediately stumbles backwards and back onto the bed.

''Shepard!'' Thane exclaims and grabs the Commanders shoulders.

''I'm fine, Thane. I really am.'' Shepard brushes herself off and continues to act as if nothing happened.

Thane gives his head a small shake then reluctantly looks up and into her eyes.

''Shepard... You're not going. You can't.'' Thane looks down, avoiding eye contact.

''Yes I can.'' Shepard folds her arms, she didn't like being told what she could and couldn't do.

''Well,'' Thane pauses. Choosing his next words carefully. ''I'm not letting you.''

Shepard's head shoots back, awed at the assassins words.

''Since when do you tell me what to do, Krios?'' Shepard stands again, this time not stumbling.

''You're hurt. You aren't fit for battle, can't you wait another day?'' Thane makes eye contact with her.  
Shepard diverts her eyes quickly, not wanting to look at him.

''I have a job, Thane. Just because I fell and hit my head doesn't mean I can just take the day off. The Reapers aren't just gonna wait around for me to get better. I have to get to Grissom before the Reapers or Cerberus does, same with the the STG lab.'' Shepard prepares herself to leave the room, as the morning is coming quickly.

''Shepard,'' Thane says, it had been a while since he had called her that. ''I'm not going to ask why you passed out or why you left last night, but the least you can do is to take today off. You hit you head, Shepard. You could pass out out there, or...'' Thane paused an studied Shepard's face, looking for a reaction. ''Just stay. For me.''

''Thane... You know I can't.'' She heads for the door, hoping to say nothing more to him.

''Siha,'' Now Thane stands, or tries to, but he ends up falling back onto the bed. He immediately covers his mouth and has a coughing fit, the sound of the coughs were nasty.

''Thane!'' Shepard rushes to his side and rubs his back while bending over to look at his face. ''Dr. Chakwas!'' Shepard calls out concerned.

The older looking women rushes in quickly, looking at the Drell concerned.

''Thane, just lay down, alright? You need to calm down.''

Thane continues to cough and Shepard looks over him worried. She holds his hand and he looks at her.

''Don't...'' He coughs. ''Don't... Go.''

Shepard lets out a long sigh and looks downwards. She had to. It was important. But were the missions more important then Thane...?


	6. Chapter 6

Dr. Chakwas sits in front of Shepard, leaning forward slightly, and a solemn look on her withered face to complete the look. Thane lays unconscious behind her on the med-bay bed.

''Shepard,'' She says softly. ''It came back,'' She sighs out. ''The Keprals. We're not sure how or why... But it's back. We need to perform another surgery, Shepard. If we don't, he might die.''

The Commander is speechless... She doesn't know what to say. In fact, she felt sad and defeated. They had tried to hard, then they had won, and then, they failed again. Shepard covers her face, unsure what to do now, how to approach this... This thing that was tearing them apart.

Shepard sits silently for a minute, shaking her head and making eye contact with Chakwas every few seconds.

''So...What do you want to do?'' Dr. Chakwas asks, setting a hand on the Commander's upper right thigh.

Shepard bolts to a standing position, the Doctor then following her movement.

''That's not my decision...'' Shepard mutters to herself.

''Excuse me?'' Chakwas tilts her head, her grey eyes looking into Shepard's green ones.

''You make the decision. Do whatever you think is best.'' Shepard turns away, not wanting to in the sterile room and not wanting Thane's fate to be in her hands.

''Where are you going?'' The Doctor asks, walking forward and catching the Commander's shoulder.

''I have to go,'' She states simply, trying not to break into tears yet again.

''What place could possibly be more important than Thane?'' Chakwas tries not to yell and composes herself.

Shepard feels anger now, it's bubbling up. Shepard thought that no one was more important than Thane. Nothing in the whole god damned galaxy was more important than Thane.

''How dare you!'' Shepard whips around and sticks an index finger in the Doctor's face. ''Nothing is more important than Thane. Nothing.'' She pauses. ''Don't you think I want to be here? With my significant other who is going through hell! Well I would! But I can't. Wanna know why? Cuz I'm Commander Fucking Shepard! I don't get a break. I'm not supposed to get a break, and believe me God won't give me a break! _Shepard go get Saren! Go kill Geth! Oh No! Shepard you died! Cerberus brought you back? Well, we don't trust you anymore! Go kill the Collectors while I sit on my ass and smoke, Shepard. Shepard! The Reapers are here! Sorry we didn't listen to you three fucking years ago! Oh, Thane's dying? To F-ING bad, gotta save everyone elses sorry asses._ I don't get a break, alright? So don't accuse me of thinking that some stupid freaking mission is more important than Thane. Because nothing is more important than him and if he dies I might as well put a bullet in my brain. How will the Galaxy feel then?''

Dr. Chakwas stands, stock still. Staring at the Commander.

''Not to put a bunch of pressure on ya, Doc... But if Thane dies, I die too.'' Shepard turns to leave. ''Then the Galaxy is fucked, and you better make sure they don't bring me back or I'll do it again.'' She gets closer to the door than turns around one last time. ''I'll be at Grissom Academy if you need me.''

Dr. Chakwas stares at the empty space that had been filled by Shepard only moments before. She, herself, now felt pressure. They were doing the operation, but Shepard's words rang true. The Commander would no doubt kill herself if Thane died too. Chakwas had once thought that the Commander would not act so lowly, but no put in the worst place and situation she believed that Shepard really was going to be a danger to herself. Chakwas needed to get this right, she needed too. The Doctor turns towards the unconscious Drell laying on the med-bay bed. She was ready.

Shepard heads toward the elevator and calls for Liara and James to meet her there. She was slowly getting sick of all of Vakarian's questions about the incident that had occurred a few nights ago.

Shepard sets the elevator for the fifth floor, the shuttle bay. Cortez was going to bring them the Grissom to rescue some biotic students that we're possibly in danger.

The door finally slides open and James is already geared up and ready to go. Liara lags a bit at her locker.

''Hey, Lola!'' James calls out taking a few steps forward.

''James.'' Shepard gives a nod as she heads over to her locker.

''Have ya had any drinks recently?'' The buff man asks as he follows her a bit, metal dog tags clinking as he walks. He was clearly referring back to a few days ago.

Shepard ignored the association and continued the conversation on.

''Not lately, but I could sure use one tonight after these missions, interested?'' Shepard starts to pull all of her specialized armor out of the locker.

''Hell yeah!'' James hefts his gun into the air before turning to greet Cortez.

''Liara?'' Shepard asks. ''You interested?''

The Asari turns her head, surprised at how happy the Commander sounded. Liara had heard about what happened to Thane and she was almost sure that Shepard would be wallowing in the bar and send Garrus, James, and her on the missions.

''Uh...'' Liara stutters. ''No offense, but I think you might want to rethink your plans for the evening...'' The Asari turns her head quickly, knowing that she shouldn't of said that.

''Oh,'' Shepard replies simply. ''You're right... I'm an idiot... I just, I just keep thinking that I can somehow ignore it, but I can't. It's the elephant in the room.'' Shepard slides down the wall her head in her hands.

Liara finishes with her armor and walks over.

''Shepard, I didn't mean to bring this up... I'm really sorry,'' Liara sits besides the Commander. ''You can send Garrus on this mission instead of you, he's a really good leader. Then you can go on the STG one.'' The girl suggests.

''No,'' Shepard says. ''I'm fine. I need to be distracted while Chakwas does the surgery. I can't watch it at all...''

''Okay,'' Liara stands up again. ''You get ready then.''

''I will,'' Shepard gives a final nod and walks to her locker, she opens it up quickly and tries to ignore the pictures of Thane and her on their last shore leave.. Which had been months ago...

After quickly putting her armor on she heads to shuttle, where James, Liara, and Cortez are waiting silently. James messing with his guns aim and Liara just checking her thermal clips.

''Are we ready?'' Shepard asks, looking at the three of them.

''Yes, Commander,'' Cortez stands up a bit straighter. ''The Kodiak is ready to go, she's all charged up.'' The man pats the small ship affectionately. Shepard never got the shuttle pilots connection to his ships.

''Good,'' Shepard nods. ''Joker is bringing us close. Mission plan, we get in, find Kaylee Sanders, find out what's going on and help.'' Shepard then directs her attention to Steve Cortez. ''Hopefully you'll be able to keep the shuttle grounded, and we can be out of there quickly, but I'll need you to stand-by.''

''Got it, Shep.'' Cortez salutes. ''You can count on me.''

''And that's why you're my shuttle pilot.'' Shepard gives the man a pat on the back as she walks past him and onto the ship.

Liara and James follow suit, and then Cortez. The Normandy's doors begin to hiss, signaling that it'd be opening and that the room would be loosing air pressure and oxygen. Shepard sees the bigger white ship, which was Grissom Academy.

''Are we ready?'' Shepard turns back to look at her crew.

''Hell yes!'' James makes sure his gun is loaded and ready to go.

Liara gives the Commander a small nod, signaling that she is.

''Then let's get this show on the road,'' Shepard grabs her Vincindator off it's holder on her back. She then looks at Cortez. ''Let's do this. Get in the air.''

''Alright,'' Cortez says, he gently guides the ship upwards and out of the Normandy.  
They then make their way to Grissom Academy.

***

"They said help was coming," The tattooed women announces as she peers over the balcony. "I didn't know queen of the girl scouts was gonna show up!"

"Jack," Shepard says simply as she takes tentative steps forward.

Jack jumps from the ledge with ease, using her biotics to slow her fall so she lands on the floor in one piece. She makes her way forward, looking somewhat mad and Shepard braces herself. She didn't know what to expect, until the girl walks up and punches her.

"That's for leaving," Jack states simply and takes a few steps back.

It takes Shepard longer to recover from the blow. She gets a bit worried, knowing that that wasn't really her standards. Maybe it was because of what had happened a few days ago in the bar, or maybe because of what was going on with Thane at that very moment. She pushes the thoughts out of her head and looks at the girl.

"I'm sorry... I was in a jail cell stuck on Earth. I didn't want to leave, but I had too." Shepard manages to say without rubbing where Jack had hit her.

"Well..." Jack pauses. "Don't do it again."

Shepard is a bit baffled by her response. Back when they were fighting the Collectors she had pissed Jack off and was under the impression that Jack was going to leave and never make contact with Shepard ever again. Apparently Jack had other feelings.

"Are... Are you mad?" Shepard asked. "Mad that I left?"

Jack shrugged.

"I don't know! You left and this happened to me... I'm a teacher!" Jack widens her eyes and looked at her.

"And that's bad?" Shepard says a bit confused.

"Bad for my reputation!" Jack exclaims. "I actually care about these kids!"

"That's not bad, Jack." Shepard puts his hand on her shoulder. "It's natural that everyone cares." She says softly.

"Like you and Thane...?" Jack asks for comparison. "Is this what it should be like?"

"Yes..." I say slowly. "Why are you asking me in the middle of a Cerberus invasion?"

"Because I've never felt this... There's no one else I trust to ask either. That's why I've been waiting for you." Jack looks back up at her students.

"You needed to ask me now?" Shepard tilts her head.

"I never actually had a normal childhood... So I don't know a lot about this feeling stuff..." Jack turns away.

"Jack," Shepard stops her. "Don't worry. We can talk later. Let's worry about getting these kids to safety."

Jack nods.

"Let's do this." Jack smiles.

***

Shepard peeks over the staircase ledge in the large courtyard. Liara and James close behind and Jack and her students over head. She pulls out her Mantis sniper rifle and aims it at one of the Cerberus mercs. Shepard lets out a slow breath and then pulls the trigger. A second later his head is gone.

"Nice shot, Lola!" James and her make quick eye contact.

"Rodriguez!" Shepard hears Jack yell. "Stay in cover!"

Shepard looks up briefly and spots the tattooed woman.

"Shepard!" Liara screams.

Shepard snaps her head forward and almost instantly a bullet hits the soft spot in her armor and she is knocked down. Her shoulder aches and she reaches up to feel around. Now her shoulder starts to sting and Shepard is unsure what to do.

Liara rushes over and looks over her.

"Are you okay?" Liara asks, concerned.

Shepard sits up and rolls her shoulder.

"Totally fine," Shepard groans. She grabs her Mantis and reloads a thermal clip.

"You sure?" James calls from a few feet ahead.

"I'm sure, Lieutenant!" Shepard kneels down behind cover, Liara taking out some medi-gel next to her.

"Good, cause we've got a big boy coming in!" James stands up and shoots a grenade at it.

Liara applies some medi-gel quickly and then grabs her Avenger machine gun. Shepard grabs her Vincindator and then copies Liara's movements. They both shoot at the mech simultaneously, while James continues with his grenades and Jack and her students throw warps at it. Soon enough they take cover and it explodes.

***

They rushed the students into the Cerberus shuttle and rush to get out of there. After much struggle they finally get up into the air where everyone starts huffing and puffing.

"Joker," Shepard says into the comm link. "We're headed out on a Cerberus shuttle. Watch your fire and monitor."

"Got it, Commander. We're watching." Joker notes.

"And... Joker? Any word on Thane?" Shepard asks a bit worried.

"Uhh..." Joker pauses for a moment. "Chakwas says so far so good."

"Okay," Shepard says. "I'll be back soon."

The shuttle goes quiet, and Jack looks at Shepard.

"What's up with Thane?" She finally asks, somewhat avoiding eye contact.

"Uh..." Shepard stutters.

Liara steps forward and pulls Jack aside for a moment, most likely explaining what the whole situation was and everything. After five or so minutes Liara returns to Shepard's side.

"I'm really sorry," Jack says. "That's horrible."

"It's okay," Shepard says barely audible. "Chakwas thinks that he'll be fine."

"I'm sure he will," Jack puts her hand on Shepard's shoulder reassuringly. Jack had learned a thing or two about reassurance and life.

"Thanks for the support," Shepard says and then goes quiet for the rest of the ride.

***

Shepard makes her way off the all too familiar shuttle quickly. Hoping that she can she can see how Thane's doing.

"Shepard," Cortez interrupts. "I know you're busy but I just want to say that I'm sorry for leaving you there."

She is in a rush but she liked the shuttle pilot enough that she would make sure that he wasn't feeling bad.

"It's alright. I gave you the orders." Shepard gives him a quick nod before brushing past him. Cortez gives a wave as she leaves and she enters the elevator quickly.

It goes upward forever. Slower than usual. Shepard paces and starts counting, waiting for the door to open. She stares at it intently, lets out a long sigh and then paces again. Watching and waiting, watching and waiting. Then it opens on Deck 3 and she practically sprints out and towards the medical bay.

The door is still locked, and the shades are still down. Shepard knocks on the door and waits until Chakwas comes out, blood on her gloves.

"Shepard," She greets. "We're just about finished-"

"Is he okay?" Shepard says quickly, looking past the older woman.

"Yes, yes. He's fine." Chakwas backs up a bit, leaving enough room for the Commander to squeeze in.

Shepard walks quickly and first and then slows her pace as she nears him. He is still unconsious and she looks at his with soft eyes.

She prays that this time he will be rid of this disease and that he can maybe be able to help her on missions like the good old days, which were really only a year ago. Shepard encases his right hand in hers and silently prays. A single tear falling down her face.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Finally! This chapter is a lot of STG crap... Not a lot of Thane:( Don't worry! Next Chapter will be Thane filled... Since Shepard is gonna take a break from the battle field. You'll read why... It's not my favorite chapter ever... But oh well. Chapter 8 will be better.**

'Shepard,' Liara says quietly as she makes her way into the med-bay where she was sitting with Thane.

Shepard looks up and away from Thane for a moment. Her eyes now fixated on the blue asari in front of her.

'Yeah?' She asks, making eye contact with Liara.

'Are you ready to head to Sur'Kesh?' Liara asks. 'Wrex is getting a little inpatient.'

Shepard looked back down at Thane again. She loved Wrex, but did he not understand that she just needed some time... Just a little bit of time with Thane. She wanted to be the first person he saw when he awoke. She wanted him to know that she cared.

'Shepard-' Liara begins.

'I heard you,' Shepard says sharply, cutting the girl off. 'Can't Wrex wait a few more minutes I mean.. I just want some time.' Shepard doesn't look back at Liara.

'We don't have much time left Shepard... I'm sorry. The female Krogans needs to be extracted now...' Shepard can tell that it had taken the asari a lot of courage to tell Shepard what's what and in some way she appreciated it.

'Alright,' Shepard says standing up and kissing Thane's forehead. 'Let's just get this over with.'  
Shepard then turns towards Chakwas.

'I'm heading out to the STG lab, take care of Thane for me?' Shepard just has to double check with the Doctor to make sure that she would, although she was probably just crazy. Of course Chakwas would.

'Shepard,' Chakwas says looking at the Commander. 'Of course I will, I wouldn't just not take care of him. What kind of woman do you think I am?' The Doctor says with a little grin.

'I'm sorry.. I just, I'm super worried and-'

'Don't worry,' Chakwas cuts Shepard off. 'He's in good hands. Go out and get the female Krogans for Wrex and be careful, alright?'

'Alright...' Shepard says slowly as she looks back at Thane. 'I'll be back soon.'

Shepard turned to leave with Liara and Chakwas gave her one last smile. Shepard returned it a little half heartily, but at least she smiles.

The two girls than leave the room.

'This is the salarian home world we're headed to,' Shepard begins, looking rather serious. 'They're not used to seeing krogan here so let's keep it simple. We land, get the females, and leave before anyone changes their mind.' Shepard stops walking and looks at her crew mates, Liara, Wrex, and Garrus.

Wrex sits on the bench of the Kodiak messing with his shotgun.

'I still don't trust a word they say,' He says not looking up from the gun.

'Let diplomacy play out, Wrex...' Shepard assures. 'You'll get what you want.'

'These females are the best and probably last hope for my people. Wrex finally stands to meet Shepard's gaze.

Liara looks over and then, while hanging on the the metal poles slowly makes her way over to where the both of us are standing.

'We'll bring them back, Wrex,' Liara says slowly and reassuringly. 'Don't worry.'

Wrex looks over at the fairly young girl and gives her a nod.

'I appreciate that, Liara. I wouldn't want anyone else along for the ride,' Wrex gives her a small grin and then looks back down at his shotgun.

Garrus suddenly clears his throat rather loudly while trying to look casual near the back of the Kodiak. Shepard, Wrex, and Liara all look in his direction. Garrus then turns and makes eye contact with the big krogan.

'I suppose I can make room for you too, Garrus...' Wrex lets out a hearty laugh.

'Figured you'd gone soft sitting on your throne, forgot how to hold a gun,' Garrus says as he looks at the krogans shotgun.

Shepard feels somewhat at home again, being with three orginal squadmates. It felt good, helped her take her mind off Thane.

Wrex open his mouth to send out a rebuttle when Cortez cuts him off.

'Commander, I have the salarian base on sensors,' Cortez says while he looks down at the console.

'Set her down,' Shepard instructs. She hoped that this would be fast so she could get back to Thane as soon as possible.

'You look a little anxious, Shepard,' Wrex says while studying her face. 'Something on your mind?'

Shepard snaps out of thought and looks at her krogan teammate.

'No...' Shepard quickly lies and shakes her head. 'Nothing really.'

'Then maybe you could shed some light on some rumors I've been-'

'We're here!' Cortez announces, looking at the Commander and giving her a quick wink. He had just saved her from a whole lot of fidgeting and lying.

'Uh, Commander,' Cortez than says, still looking at the console. 'Salarian ground control says we don't have clearence to land...'

Shepard makes her way to Cortez in the pilot's seat and away from her team. She sets and hand on the back of his chair and looks over his shoulder a bit concerned. Was this actually going to work?  
'Tell them the dalatrass authorized this herself,' Shepard says with confidence, hoping that that would be enough information.

'I knew they'd never keep their word!' Wrex exclaims for the back of the Kodiak. He then stands up, looking frustrated and walks rather determined to the door of the Kodiak. 'Let's see them try and stop a krogan airdrop.'

The krogan opens the door quickly and gets ready to drop.

'Wrex!' Shepard exclaims looking back at him. She really did not need this today, her head starts to ache again.

Wrex jumps from the shuttle, letting out a little rawr as he hits the ground with a thud.

'We have an unauthorized landing!' Shepard hears a salarian shout from the lab. She lets out a long sigh as several salarian come to contain the krogan. They were really idiots. Did they really think they could contain Wrex...?

'And who authorized you to hold my race hostage!' Wrex declares looking rather pissed at the two salarians pointing guns in his face. He then hits the two with a biotic warp and they fly backwards and into a wall.

Wrex was going to ruin this if she didn't do something.

The krogan pulls out his shotgun and is ready to fight when three snipers focus on just him. Shepard would be surprised if this wasn't already ruined. So much for diplomacy she thought.  
Shepard, Liara, and Garrus all jump out of the Kodiak, hoping to somehow fix this little delema.  
More salarian rush forward.

'Halt!' One yells.

'Stand down! Hold your fire!' Another salarian yells, racing to the front of the crowd. 'Commander Shepard, restrain your colleague! We only found about this transfer a few moments ago.'

Shepard lets out a long sigh as she looks at the salarian standing in front of her.

'I'd like to avoid a diplomatic incident...' Shepard begins walking forward to meet him.

'As would we,' He agrees, changing to a more neutral standing position.

'But you have something valuable to Wrex,' Shepard states hoping to make this as quick as possible.

'Something worth dying for,' Wrex adds, not sounding to happy.

'This matter can be resolved, but I must insist he remain under guard,' The salarian states.  
Wrex lets out an unsatisfyed grumble and holds on tightly to his gun.

'And if we insist otherwise?' Shepard asks, she was not going to let some salarian hold Wrex under guard. This was his mission, he had a right to be here.

'You'll have another war on your hands,' The salarian says matter of factly.

Shepard lets out a long agitated sigh. She then turns to make quick eye contact with the Krogan. Wrex then puts his gun back in its holster.

'Anything goes wrong, and all bets are off,' He gives in and starts following the salarians.

The Kodiak lands behind them and Shepard walks forward, following the salarian who appeared to be in charge while Wrex pushes various salarian guards back, making sure they don't get to close to him.

Here we go, Shepard thinks.

Shepard, Liara, and Garrus descend down to the actual base waiting to meet Wrex's 'inside source'. Shepard couldn't possibly believe that some salarian was working with Wrex.

The elevator door opens and the three walk out. Several salarians bustle around, holding datapads and and opened omni tools. Shepard gazes around, looking for someone who could possibly be meeting them.

A group of salarians stand before them, back turned, all of them talking to the one in the middle. The salarian in the middle had to be their inside source. The salarians in the crowd break away, opening their omni-tools as they depart.

She looks and then sees the salarian in the middle. It... It couldn't be. She knew him. She knew that face... It was Mordin. Her eyes widen. It was her favorite scientist salarian. He was smart. Then it hits her, if he comes with them then he could take a look at Thane, maybe help Chakwas. It was perfect, this was perfect.

Mordin looks up and spots the three of them.

'Shepard!' He exclaims. 'Excellent timing. Good to have you here.'

'Mordin?' Shepard holds out her hand to give him a handshake. She was still in semi shock.  
'Eyesight still sharp. Surprise understandable. Hadn't expected to return to work,' Mordin says quickly.

'You're back with STG?' Liara asks behind me, shifting her weight and crossing her arms while looking at him.

'Special consultant. Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong,' Mordin explains.  
'Helped femal krogan,' He bends over and whispers in my ear. 'Fed information to Clan Urdnot. Encouraged political pressure to free females.'

Shepard is astonished. Mordin was Wrex's inide source?

'You must be Wrex's inside source,' Shepard figures.

'Yes. Can explain later. Security warnings not normal. Need to get offworld for sake of krogan.' Mordin turns away and starts hurrying away.

Shepard chases after him, with Liara and Garrus close behind.

'Females had weakened immune systems. Side effect of Maelon's cure.'

Mordin continues to walk, stopping to show us females who didn't make it. Suddenly Shepard's head starts pounding again, from when she had hit it a few days before. She wasn't sure what was happening, it didn't act like this at Grissom. Shepard pushes through it and continues walking to follow Mordin.

Eve is okay... So far. Mordin is transporting her to the main shipping bay. Shepard and her squad just had to make sure they made it their.

Shepard finds cover just as the bullets start flying. Cerberus was here. Her head is now pounding more than ever and she almost can't focus. She takes in a long breath and then looks up over the wall at the oncoming forces. Shepard, Liara, and Garrus were so close to the end of this journey. Than she could go see Thane, and if Mordin came with them he could look at Thane.  
Shepard just has to stay focused.

For some reason she can't. The pounding in her head gets bigger and more painful as she goes on. Shepard is having a hard time focusing.

'Shepard!' Liara exclaims, looking over at her Commander. 'You okay?'

Shepard casts a side glance over at Liara and nods.

'I'm fine,' She nods.

Liara continues to look at her for several more seconds then kneels up and shoots another Cerberus soldier in the head.

Shepard decides that she should try to look productive so she looks up, gun in hand. She aims for a Cerberus soldier, but can't seem to focus on him. She spaces out and just stares at him, struggling to aim.

'Shepard!' Garrus yells and he grabs her and throws her to the ground just as a bullet flies through where her head just was.

'Th...Thanks...' She mutters as she brushes herself off.

'Are you sure you're okay?' Liara asks, looking down at her Commander.

Shepard takes another long breath.

'I'm fine, T'Soni,' She says simply, sitting back up.

Garrus and Liara make quick eye contact, the two didn't look convinced.

Shepard's head is pounding even more now and she does not know why. She was just eager to get this mission done and rest.

'Shepard!' She hears Wrex call through the comm link. 'You've got a big boy coming in!'

Just as Wrex finishes a big Cerberus mech drops in with a thud and makes the whole place rumble.

'Shepard!' Garrus looks at her. 'Make you're way around and distract him. T'Soni and I will flank him.'  
Shepard gives him a nod and starts heading towards the front of him. Shooting off randomly and hitting the mech, dropping his shields. The mech turns to look at her and Shepard feels like everything is moving in slow motion. The mech targets in on her and she freezes. It takes her brain a moment to process, and she feels as if only she is moving in slow motion.

Her head is pounding and her breathing gets heavy. I should've listened to Thane. She thinks as she starts to scurry to get away.

'SHEPARD!' Liara and Garrus yell at the same time, it wasn't just a simple yell, they sounded scared. Her eyes snap to them and then she sees the mech readying it's rocket. She runs forward and the rocket barely misses her.

She is thrown aside a bit, and lands hard on the floor. She almost can't move, her headache becoming too strong for her to move. Garrus and Liara bolt forward to take the mechs attention off Shepard. That's the last thing Shepard sees


	8. Chapter 8

While Garrus, Liara, Mordin, Eve, and Wrex were rushing to get an unconscious Shepard back to the waiting Kodiak, Chakwas was back on the Normandy looking over a recovering Thane.  
Dr. Chakwas cleans up the med-bay a bit, which still had various medical supplies scattered around from the second surgery that Thane had undergone. She bags the bloodied gloves and ponchos that had been worn and gets ready to dispose of them when Thanes eyes flutter open behind her. He let's out a few small coughs.  
She turns around and rushes over to him.  
'Thane,' She states. 'How are you feeling?'  
He makes eye contact with the Doctor.  
'Uh, can I get a glass of water, please?' He croaks, sitting up a bit.  
'Of course,' The Doctor nods and runs to the nearby Mess Hall to retrieve some.  
Thane positions himself so he's his back is elevated and he gazes around the room. He wonders where Shepard is... She didn't actually go on those missions, did she?  
Chakwas returns and hands the glass to Thane who is still looking around. He takes a nice long drink and then looks up at Chakwas.  
'Where is Shepard?' He asks making eye contact with the older woman.  
'She's at Sur'Kesh,' Chakwas answers. 'She should be back soon.'  
'So she did go on the missions?' Thane nods his head slowly.  
'Don't worry,' Chakwas retrieves the empty glass. 'I checked her out, she seemed to be fine. She came back from Grissom alright.'  
Thane looks a little relived, but still a bit worried.  
'She took Garrus, Liara, and Wrex with her,' Chakwas adds. 'If anything went wrong they'd take good care of her.'  
Thane nods and grins.  
'Now let's get you checked out, make sure everything's okay.' Chakwas opens her omni-tool and starts looking over the Drell.

'We need to get her back to the Normandy now!' Garrus runs to where Steve Cortez sits in the Pilot's seat.  
Cortez gives the turian a quick nod.  
'Don't worry, I've got this,' Cortez reassures and Garrus takes a seat in the co-pilot's seat of the Kodiak.  
Mordin stands over and unconscious Commander and opens his omni-tool, the salarian scans her body and looks at a diagram of her vitals. Liara sits besides her, holding her hand and looking at Mordin hopefully.  
'What exactly happened out there?' Wrex asks from where he was sitting next to the Eve on the Kodiak bench. 'I've never seen Shepard just... Drop.'  
'I...I don't know,' Liara stutters. 'Garrus and I were going to flank the big mech and Shepard was the distraction... She just lost focus and then...' Liara looks down at Shepard.  
'We should let your Doctor know that we're coming,' Eve suggests, looking at the asari.  
Liara nods than stands to go meet Garrus in the front of the Kodiak.  
'I need you to call Chakwas, let her know we're coming,' Liara bends over and says in his ear.  
'Alright,' Garrus nods, already pulling up his omni-tool. 'I'll let her know, just stay back there with Shepard.'  
Liara nods and then makes her way back to where she was sitting before.  
Garrus opens his omni-tool and makes the call.

'Everything is looking good,' Chakwas says, closing her omni-tool and looking at the Drell. 'For now, you'll need a lot of rest and medication.'  
Thane nods.  
'Thank you,' He says quietly. 'Thank you for everything.'  
'No problem,' She smiles and then turns.  
Then Chakwas omni-tool pings. She turns away for a moment and answers, stepping away from Thane.  
'Hello?' She asks, not sure who has called her.  
'Chakwas,' Garrus's voice comes through. He sounds worried and he was rushing. What now?  
'Garrus, what's wrong?' She asks quickly.  
'Shepard! She... She... I don't know what she did but she's gonna need your help! She just blanked out and was nearly killed... She's unconscious right now, Mordin's looking over her!' Garrus says rather quickly.  
'Oh God...' Chakwas mutters. 'Alright! I'll get ready... Just have Mordin keep looking over her. What's your ETA?' Chakwas doesn't care where Mordin came from, he was the only one on that shuttle who had more medical expieriance than Garrus, Liara, or Wrex, and she had no idea if Shepard was hurt badly or not. She also ignores the Drell staring at her from the med-bay bed.  
'Uh...' Garrus pauses for a moment and she can hear him ask Cortez. 'Fifteen minutes! We'll be there in fifteen minutes!'  
'Alright, Garrus,' Chakwas says. 'I'll be ready. Is she bleeding? What do you mean by hurt?'  
'Uh... I'm not sure -Liara!-' Garrus calls the young asari. Moments later Liara is talking to Chakwas.  
'No blood,' Liara says. 'She just seemed distant and not focused... It may somehow be realated to what happened at the bar a few nights ago. No blood this time.'  
'Thanks,' Chakwas says. 'I'll be prepared. Can you tell me what exactly happened?'  
'Uh...' Liara stutters. 'Well Cerberus showed up. She almost got shot in the head... Garrus pulled her down just in time. That was the first sign to us.' Liara pauses fo a minute. 'Than... We got down to the main shipping area and Cerberus dropped a big mech. Shepard was gonna distract, Garrus and I were gonna flank.. We noticed that she was slowing down and Garrus started after her once the Mech starting readying his missles.' She pauses again. 'Garrus and I screamed as loud as we could and she hurried to move, the rocket went off, barely missed her but she was thrown by the aftershock.. After that she was out.'  
'Okay,' Chakwas nods. 'Get back to her now,' Chakwas instructs.  
Usually Chakwas wouldn't be so concerned, but this was the second time and if they didn't find out what was wrong with Shepard than they weren't going to fix this problem.  
'Okay, we'll be there soon, see ya then,' Liara finishes.  
Liara then hangs up and Chakwas looks back at Thane.  
'What happened?' He asks, looking worried and staring at the Doctor.  
Chakwas sighs.  
'There was a little accident...' Chakwas says slowly.  
'Is she okay?' Thane asks concerned.  
'Well-'  
'Is she okay!?' Thane asks again with more force and Chakwas is taken aback.  
'I don't know,' Chakwas says being honest. 'I'm not with her so I don't know. Apparently she blacked out during the mission.'  
'I told her not to go,' Thane says.  
'I'm sure she'll be just fine. I'm going to order her bed rest. I think it's the stress.' Chakwas sighs.  
'How can you be sure?' He says looking up. 'You... You never know.'  
Chakwas surprised with Thane's attitude. He was a rather spiritual man, but that was definitely not showing right now.  
'Thane,' The Doctor says forcefully, looking into his dark eyes. 'She'll be fine. I'm sure of it. She's evoided death time and time again, she's passed out before too.'  
Thane nods and stays quiet. Looking down at his hands.  
Karen Chakwas sighs and continues readying the room for Shepard's return.

Shepard slowly opens her eyes. Seeing Liara and Mordin hovering over her, the salarians omni-tool open.  
'What... What happened?' She mutters, sitting up despite Liara's warnings not too.  
'You blacked out on us, Shepard,' Liara informs her.  
It all came back to her, the mech, the rocket, the blackness.  
'Oh... Yeah...' She says simply.  
'Really? That's all you have to say?' Liara raises her voice, making eye contact with the Commander.  
'What do you want me to say, Liara?' Shepard asks, now getting agrivated herself.  
Wrex, Eve, and Mordin make quick eye contact with each other and decide not to intervene. Garrus and Cortez ignore the situation all together.  
'I don't know!' Liara throws her hands up. 'Maybe a 'you were right'! I told you not to go on the missions.'  
'That wasn't your choice!' Shepard says. 'I'm the Commander! I can make my own decisions, Liara!'  
'Shepard! You have to take into account what your capable of! Clearly you weren't well for this mission but you went anyway! You need to let your body heal. If you don't than you'll be as helpful as a Hanar!'  
'Liara, I don't need you telling me what to do,' Shepard sneers.  
'Than who, Shepard?' Liara asks. 'Who can tell you what to do. Who is going to set the limits. If someone doesn't than you'll be dead sooner than later.'  
'I can take care of my self and I don't need some damned Asari questioning me and my decisisons. Let me worry about myself.' Shepard stands suddenly, and finding no where to really go she walks to where Cortez and Garrus are.  
Liara looks back at Shepard. She was going to need help. Someone had to make her listen. Shepard was going down hill quickly. She needed someone, and Liara knew exactly who that someone was. Stress plus anger plus depression wasn't going to be helping her.  
Garrus looks back at Shepard and opens his mouth to say something.  
'Don't you start too, Vakarian,' She snaps.  
'Liara was just scared,' He reluclantly says. 'You scared everyone, Shepard, even Wrex. Now don't get mad at me, but you should take Liara's advice. Or at least think about it... Please. For everyone.'  
Shepard just buries her head in her knees and just thinks.

Cortez lands the Kodiak in the Normandy's shuttle bay and Liara rushes off the shuttle first, pushing Wrex and Mordin out of her way. Wrex doesn't flinch, Shepard had in fact just yelled at the girl. Mordin, Eve, and Wrex make their way to the elevator, toward the med-bay. Garrus walks past Shepard, probably heading back to the Main Battery and Cortez walks out to begin repairs. The Kodiak had taken a few shots.  
Shepard is out last, feeling horrible about what had happened. Liara was trying to help, she was worried. She lets out a sigh and heads for the elevator too, she was going to go check on Thane and then talk to Liara.  
Shepard gets on the elevator with Mordin, Wrex, and Eve. It was quite packed and no one made a sound, not even the salarian.  
The door finally opens on Deck 3 and Shepard is out first, already racing for the med-bay. The door slides open and Chakwas and an awake Thane turn to look at her.  
'Shepard-' Chakwas begins, she thought that the Commander had been unconcious.  
'Thane!' Shepard gasps, cutting the Doctor off and racing towards him.  
'Shepard?' Thane asks confused. 'I thought you were-'  
She hugs him, not to hard of course, and he wraps his arms around her.  
Mordin, Wrex, and Eve walk in moments later.  
'So the rumors were true,' Wrex says as he sees Thane and Shepard. Dr. Chakwas cured a drell with Kepral's.  
'Chakwas did what?' Mordin asks looking at the Doctor. 'Is this possible?' Mordin walks forward, looking at Thane, who had stopped hugging Shepard.  
'He's fine for now,' Chakwas says looking at him. 'We can discuss this later, Mordin, right now I need to talk to Shepard.'  
'Right,' Mordin nods. 'If you don't mind, can I run some tests in here?'  
'Go right ahead,' Chakwas nods and the walks to Shepard. 'I heard about what happened...'  
'I know,' Shepard sighs. 'I'm fine... I just...'  
'Shepard,' Chakwas sighs. 'We're gonna need to talk. You need time to rest, you've passed out twice in the last week... I think you need to take a break...'  
'A break?' Shepard exclaims. 'But... But I can't. It's the Reaper War...'  
'I understand, Shepard,' Chakwas says looking at her. 'Just for a few days. Not for long. I'm sure Garrus can lead the squad just fine, James could too.'  
Shepard looks at Thane, who gives her a weak smile.  
'Fine...' Shepard sighs. 'I need to talk to Liara now,' She stands. 'I hurt her feelings and I need to fix it...'  
She stands and leaves the room before more can be said.

Liara T'Soni sits in her office, furiously typing at her terminal. She was sending a worried message to non other than Shepard's mom. If anyone could talk some sense into Shepard it would be Captain Hannah Shepard. Just as the Asari clicks 'send' her door slides open behind her.  
Shepard walks in and Liara turns her head away.  
'Liara,' Shepard says. 'I'm sorry. I really am.'  
'I understand,' Liara says, turning to look at her. 'You were upset and I was talking to you at a bad time.'  
'You were right though,' Shepard says. 'I need to rest and I am. I'm taking a break for a few days.'  
Liara looks back at her terminal. She shouldn't have contacted Shepard's mom.  
'Uh...' Liara looks back at Shepard.  
'What?' Shepard furrows her brow.  
'I, uh, might've contacted your mom...' Liara looks down.  
Shepard sighs.  
'She'd probably would've contacted me sooner or later...' Shepard shrugs. 'Better now than later.'  
'I'm sorry,' Liara apoligizes. 'I should've waited... I should've talked to you...'  
'Liara,' Shepard says. 'It's fine.'  
Liara nods.  
'How's Thane?' She asks.  
'He's awake.' Shepard smiles.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Hey:) This Chapter is mostly fluff and me2 canon stuff... Hope you enjoy. I decided that I'd be nice to Thane and Shepard and put some lovey dovey crap in their! Like I said, not much action, but that's what Chapter 10 is for!**

_He looks at her, hands folded in front of him and on the table. Was she really falling for him? An assassin, and a deadly one at that. She sat at the table, making eye contact as she did. She had to act professional, not like a school girl with a crush. _

_So what she had maybe flirted a little before, she really hoped it didn't mean much... Maybe._

_'I am- I had been recording a message for Kolyat,' Thane begins after she takes a seat. Shepard had just helped him save Kolyat, or rather prevent him from assassinating a Turian politic. They had saved him from having Thane's life._

_'How are things going with him?' She asks, mantaining eye contact and trying not to think about her feelings._

_'It is difficult,' Thane answers. 'All things worth keeping are.' He pauses and continues staring at Shepard's vibrant green eyes. 'I never explained- I suppose the story of my wife's death took you by surprise.'_

_Another reason not to pursue a relationship. His wife was dead, and many would rather not date after a spouse's death. Shepard was crazy._

_'I figured you'd explain to me when you were ready,' She explains, staying calm and collected._  
_'I appreciate your patience,' Thane bows his head, grateful. 'I kept my work clear of our home life,' He starts, getting out of the chair, her eyes follow him. 'I assumed that would be enough to protect Irikah. That memory I mentioned before-' He pauses, looking straight ahead. 'Laser dot trembles on the skull. The smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in scope.' He says slipping into solipsism. 'That was Irikah,' He explains. 'That was how I met her. She saw my targeting laser as she walked by, and threw herself in the way.' Thane paces around for a bit, than sits down in front of her again, making eye contact again._

_There wasn't going to be a relationship. Thane was talking about his dead wife... This wasn't going to work._

_'I guess she impressed you.' Shepard says, tilting her head a bit._

_'She woke me up,' Thane says simply. Then he slips into solipsism once more. 'Her body trembles. Not fear. Indignation. Her mouth moves. "How dare you?" ' Thane than stops and looks at Shepard once again, her heart skips a beat. _

_Stop. She thinks to herself. It's not going to work._

_'You and I trained to sacrifice ourselves to save others. How often does a civilian step in the way of a bullet to protect someone they've never met?' Thane asks, hand folded once again. 'I thought she was the goddess Arashu,' He continues. 'She met my eyes through the scope, and my purpose faltered.'_

_'So how did she go from blocking your shot to having your children?' Shepard asks. Why was she asking that. If she ever did want him, she was going to ruin her chances._  
_'I had to meet her,' Thane says. 'The memory possessed and endowed me. I fell on my knees before her. Begged her pardon. She introduced me to the world beyond my work. Eventually, she forgave me. Later she loved me.'_

_Shepard looks down for a moment. She felt... Jealous. She knew she shouldn't. But was it wrong of her to want that. Someone to love her too?_

_'When you talked to Kolyat you said she'd died,' Shepard says, genuinely wondering what had happened._

_'I let myself become complacent. I thought Irikah and Kolyat were safe. I stayed away too long, and my enemies came for her.' Thane tells her, looking down._

_'Who came for her?' Shepard asks more questions, eager to hear._

_'Batarians,' The assassin says simply. 'A slaver ring that was preying on hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders. They paid the Shadow Broker to find out who I was. But they were afraid of me, so they went after her.'_

_'You told Kolyat that you hunted her killers down.'_

_'Irikah woke me up. When she passed, I returned to my battle sleep,' Thane says, his voice filled with sadness. 'My body hunted her killers. Murdered them. I was taught to grant death quickly, cleanly. To minimize suffering. Them- I let them linger.'_

_'I don't blame you,' Shepard agreed with him completely. 'They killed innocents to get to you.'_  
_'For you and me death is buisness. For people like them, it is sport.' Thane sits up taller and looks me in the eyes. 'I haven't spoken about my wife in- I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to tell it to.' He sounds thankful. Thane was truly glad that she was there to listen, Shepard could feel it._

_Shepard feels the heat rush to her face. He looked into her eyes._

_'Maybe I haven't been as up front as I should be. I'm here for you, Thane. Whatever you need.'_

_'You... You are very kind,' Thane says, leaning forward again. 'Thank you for listening, siha.'_

_Shepard was a bit confused. Siha? What was that._

_'I think my translator just glitched. What did you call me?'_

_'Siha,' He says simply. 'Someday I'll tell you what it means.'_

'Siha?' Thane asks from behind her.

Shepard shakes her head and looks back at the drell. She had just been day dreaming... Again. This time, the first time he had called her 'siha'.

They were both seated in the lounge, Thane had gotten clearance to be in there for a while. He was doing much better than he had been the first time after surgery, and Shepard was still on bed rest.  
She had sent Garrus, James, and EDI to go rescue Victus's son's platoon off Tuchanka, it seemed like an easy enough mission and Shepard could trust Garrus.

'What were you thinking about?' Thane asks, moving closer to the Commander.

He wraps his arms around her waist from behind and kisses her cheek. Shepard smiles.

'The first time you called me siha,' She says simply, staring out at the stars through the Normandy's window.

'Really?' He asks, following Shepard's eyes.

Shepard lets out a long sigh and turns her head, her chocolate brown hair falling into her face. Thane moves the stray piece out her face and presses his lips gently to hers. Shepard looks into his eyes.

'I love you, Krios.' Shepard grins.

'I love you too, siha.' Thane kisses her cheek and looks back at the stars.

The door slides open behind them and Dr. Chakwas walks in behind them. They both turn to look at her and she smiles at the sight of them.

'I came to recommend that you two head to bed, it's getting a bit late and both of you need to rest,' Shepard moves to get up, as well as Thane who was having a better time walking. 'However,' Chakwas interrupts. 'Mordin doesn't look like he'll be stopping his tests anytime soon, so I also came to tell you that you can sleep in your cabin tonight.'

Shepard smiles, as does Thane. The med-bay beds were getting on Shepard's nerves. They weren't the most comfortable.

'So if anything happens, just let EDI know.' Chakwas smiles and turns to leave.

'Wait,' Shepard asks and Chakwas turns back to make eye contact with the Commander. 'Did Garrus, James, and EDI make it back?'

'They're on their way back now, according to EDI,' Chakwas informs. 'They have some news for you, so EDI will let you know when their back.'

'Thanks,' Shepard says and puts an arm around a now standing Thane, he still needed a bit of help walking.

'See you tomorrow, Commander,' Chakwas says goodnight and exits the room.  
Shepard leads Thane to the elevator, slowly but steadily. Things were finally looking up for the two of them. Shepard was getting more rest and Thane was recovering better than he was after the first surgery.

Once inside the elevator, Thane looks at her with a smile.

'Thank you,' He says simply.

'Why?' Shepard asks confused.

'For waking me up, for helping me with Kolyat... For everything. Thank you, siha.' Thane looks down at the ground.

'Thinking about the past too, I see?' She asks, looking at the drell.

'I guess I am,' Thane begins. 'And I now notice that I never thanked you.'

'You already have,' She smiles, looking over at him. 'You gave me you.'

She wraps an arm around his waist and sets her head on his shoulder and she can feel him smiles. Thane kisses her forehead, since he has to be a good few inches taller than her.

The elevator door opens and the two enter her cabin. Shepard now realizes how much she missed her bed and how tired she really is.

'Well here we are!' Shepard exclaims leading Thane inside and sitting him down on her bed. 'I'm tired.'

'As am I,' Thane agrees, already climbing underneath the covers. 'I missed this bed.' He says.

Shepard slips out of her Alliance camo and into some sweatpants and a tank top. She turns and flings herself onto her side of the bed.

'Me too,' She says climbing in next to Thane.

'Goodnight, siha,' Thane says, placing one more kiss on her forehead.

'See you tomorrow, Krios,' She says shutting her eyes.

_'I've been thinking about you,' Shepard says as she sits down once again across from the assassin. At least what she had said was true, she had been thinking about him a lot._  
_'And I you,' Thane responds, looking into her green eyes again. 'Will you hear my confession, siha?'_  
_Shepard's heart flutters and she doesn't know what to say._

_'Last time we talked like this you said you'd explain what 'siha' means,' She settles for, still wondering what it meant._

_'I need to explain myself to yo first,' Thane says and Shepard is all ears. 'When I married Irikah, the hanar let me leave their service to raise a family. But I had no other skills, so I freelanced. When Irikah was killed, I pursued those responsible.' He pauses. 'Once I'd eliminated them, I had no goal. I accepted the Dantius commission because I didn't know what else to do.'_

_'I guess you're lucky we came along when we did,' Shepard says._

_'It was an intervention by the gods. I would've died in that penthouse,' Thane admits. 'I would have fulfilled my contract. If Nassana's guards caught me afterwards- It would've been a good death. But someone else was pushing to reach the target. Forcing me to move faster. Challenging me. I had to reach her first.'_

_'You're alive because I wounded your pride?' She asks confused._

_'Pride is the line between a professional and a thug,' Thane pauses. 'But I met another siha. Few are privileged to meet even one.'_

_What did siha mean?_

_'You still haven't told me what a 'siha' is,' She brings up._

_'One of the warrior angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector.' Thane explains. 'I confess I've come to care for you. Perhaps I'm being foolish. We are very different...'_

_Shepard couldn't believe this was happening. Did he actually care? Was this what she wanted?_

_'I'm not sure we know each other well enough to call it love. But I feel something for you too. Something more than frienship.' He moves his hands closer and encases it in hers, looking it Shepard's eyes again._

_'I've never felt affection for another species. I'm not sure what to do now,' Thane sounds generally confused and Shepard had to admit she was too._

_'We'll just have to figure it out,' She smiles._

_Thane had never seen her smile, not like that._

_'I look forward to the memories.' Thane returns the smile._

Shepard's eyes flutter open and she smiles. The room is dark, she sits up slowly and eyes the clock. 12:13, it was only midnight. She feels a smile come to her lips and she looks at the sleeping drell in her bed. She had just dreamt about when they had made things official. She runs a finger down his green chest and smiles. There was so many memories, and she hoped he'd remember them. She lays back down and sets her head on his chest. He stirs a bit and then his arm moves around her waist and pulls her closer. Within minutes Shepard is asleep and dreaming.

***

_Shepard looks over the datapad. They were about to hit the Collectors and enter the Omega 4 Relay. She was ready and her crew was ready. There couldn't be a more perfect time._

_Her door slids open behind her and she looks back startled. Thane rushes in and she stands up to meet him._

_'Thane,' She says softly, looking at him._

_'Siha- I,' He stutters. 'I have known I will die for many years. I've tried to leave the galaxy better than I found it. You've helped me achieve more than I though possible. We've righted many wrongs... I've spoken to my son...' His brow furrows and he turns around. 'I should be at peace on the eve of battle.'_

_'Stop,' She pulls him close to her. 'Don't give me a speech.' Shepard looks into his dark eyes and sees his green irises._

_'I'm ashamed,' He says simply._

_Shepard brings her hand up and strokes his cheek. Thane moves her hand away and turns away, setting his hands on her desk, tears streaming down his face. He brings his fist down on the table hard._

_'I've worked so hard. Meditated and prayed and done good deeds. Atoned for the evils I have done. Prepared.' _

_Shepard looks at him, worried._

_'I consider my body's death and a chill settles in my gut. I am afraid and it shames me.'_

_Shepard feels her heart drop and she rushes forward, she sets her hand on his and looks at him._

_'Thane...' She says softly and he looks back at her. 'Be alive with me tonight.'_

_She pulls him closer and their lips join_


End file.
